This is a video of the world’s most powerful chainsaw, the STIHL MS 881 MAGNUM with a 60″ guide bar being used to take cookie slices out of a massive stump. Obviously, if this chainsaw were a condom, it would be the size I have to wear. It’s not a condom though, it’s a chainsaw, so I don’t want it anywhere near my penis. The tool’s power head alone (without 60″ guide bar) weighs 22 pounds. That’s a hefty unit. Now I know the video preview shows Zoe doing the cutting (I wonder why), but in the video its her husband Trey. Trust me, I watched it four times just to make sure. THE OL’ BAIT AND SWITCH. Based on all their video preview pictures I assumed they were running some sort of semi-erotic power tool channel. And I’m still not convinced they’re not. They don’t even have a Patreon but I started one for them and donated to it.

Note: Turn your volume down.

This is a video of someone filming a thunderstorm when God decides to try to smack them with a lightning bolt. I can’t tell what the lighting actually hit, but it was CLOSE. Some more info while I fly a key on a kite and then invent bifocals:

I grabbed my phone to record the rain/storm. I opened the door to get a better view and saw sparks! It cracked 2 of the posts that hold the roof up. One is barely hanging on…it is currently unsafe to use that outlet.

Aaaah, so it it hit the roof of the porch. I probably should have read that before copy/pasting it, but I like to fly by the seat of my pants. Or underwear in this case, which is almost always the case at home. All the delivery drivers in the area run before I can answer the door, I can tell you that.

In what’s arguably the best use of a rubber chicken in a song ever, this is a short video of a latex pecker covering the intro to Led Zeppelin’s 1970 classic ‘Immigrant Song’. It’s exactly what you’d expect, and even better than you imagine. So, if you were wondering what Al Gore was envisioning when he invented the internet (in addition to saving polar bears), this is it. The internet has finally reached its peak, and it’s only downhill from here.

Keep going for the cover, as well as the original as a palate cleanser.

This is a follow up to yesterday’s video of a tornado tossing a truck around with an interview with that driver and a closer look at the truck. Obviously, Chevrolet would be foolish not to buy the rights to the video and design a whole advertising campaign around ‘Built Tornado Tough’, but what the hell do I know? I only have a BS in Marketing and an MBA with a concentration in Marketing and am basically a modern day Mad Men but without all the sexism and like 4X the drinking.

Finally putting an end to the debate of how just long a person can rest their ass on the back of their head, this is a video of Mongolian contortionist Tsatsral Erdenebileg setting the new Guinness World Record for “Longest Time To Hold The Marinelli Bend Position” with a very respectable 4 minutes 17 seconds on the Rekorlar Dunyasi show in Turkey. For reference, my personal best is 0 seconds and pain all over just thinking about it, and I don’t anticipate improving. The human body, am I right? “What about it?” Mine is complete garbage.

This is a video of an elf (the shoes are a dead giveaway) balancing on an extra-tall unicycle while spinning two balls on his face and head and juggling three batons. Impressive. You know, I think I witnessed the same feat at the circus when I was a kid. Also: an elephant take the second biggest dump I’ve ever seen, and a guy trying to catch it all with a shovel and the weight of each fresh turd causing his shovel to dip and the top turd roll off the pile. My brother and I still talk about it to this day.