Because there’s a market for absolutely everything, this is the Kickstarter for ‘The Brow’, a pair of $45 sun-shaders that are worn like sunglasses but don’t have any lenses, instead shielding your eyes via little brow-level visors. Where was Oakley on this? These look right up their alley. Obviously, these are perfect for the person who needs eye protection but doesn’t want to wear sunglasses for some unreasonable reason. Or a hat. I mean you don’t want to ruin your hair wearing a hat, do you? Or look ridiculous wearing a visor. Oh….wait.

Keep going for several more shots and their Kickstarter promo video.

This is a video from adventure seeker Lauren Rowe, who recently went parasailing in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico and accidentally slipped out of her harness seat and is left dangling with a wedgie that puts the atomic variety to shame. Ouch. Nice view though. At least there’s that. I mean I’m not sure if Lauren was able to enjoy it, but at least we were. I’m referring to the ocean, just so we’re clear — not her butt. My girlfriend sent me this tip, so I didn’t even notice if she had a butt. *shrug* Does she?

@lozzaa92__ Parasailing pro #CloseYourRings #fyp #mexico #cabo #parasailingfail #cabosanlucasmexico ♬ original sound – Lauren Rowe

Thanks again to JustA, who has the only butt in the world as far as I know.

If you thought you had a bad Valentine’s Day, this is some apartment lobby security cam footage of TikTok user chemaelgoofy trying to bring flowers, a balloon, and chocolate covered strawberries into the building, when his balloon gets stuck in the door, and things quickly unravel from there, leaving him with a popped balloon, and both flowers and chocolates on the floor. That sucks. No word how many times he’s managed to bring all the groceries inside in a single trip, but my guess is zero. I don’t know, maybe this is God’s way of telling hom he doesn’t want this relationship to work out. You know, God has sent me similar hints before (I got struck by lightning leaning in for a kiss once).

@chemaelgoofy Original audio (with all the pain and heartache in my voice) for you lovely sadists. Audio original #vday #valentinesday #vdayfail #fail #sadaudio #noooo ♬ original sound – Chema

@chemaelgoofy Valentine’s Day fail #vday #valentinesday #vdayfail ♬ Everybody Hurts – R.E.M.

Keep going for two videos: a shorter cut with original audio, and an extended cut with R.E.M.’s ‘Everybody Hurts’ as the soundtrack.

Thanks to JustA, who got flowers, two cards, AND a necklace for Valentine’s Day. I did good, unlike this guy.

This is a 60-second (almost quadruple the average human’s attention span) sweded remake of Alien, as shot by the filmmakers at Canada’s Folks Films. They did a good job, and I would watch a full-length version if they made one. Granted I wouldn’t pay full ticket price to see it in the theater since it appears to have been made for even less than the cost of a ticket, but if you throw in unlimited popcorn I will bring a garbage bag to take home with me.

Because some people still believe in a having a little dangerous fun (the best kind), this is a video of “Rocketman” Robert Maddox blasting around a dried lake bed in “The Beast”, a pulse-jet powered go-kart he built. In the clip he hits speeds up to 90MPH while the engine glows devil red behind him and a propane tank and he steers with one hand, filming himself with the other. Rocketman says this was only at about half throttle too, since he didn’t want to open it all the way up with only one hand on the wheel. Hey — safety first. Or may third or fourth in this case.

This is some dashcam footage from a car that pulls over onto the curb at an intersection to make room for an ambulance approaching from behind, which proceeds to pass and drive through the intersection, neatly depositing a gurney in the middle on its way across. Thankfully, there was not a body on that gurney. Although, based on their inability to even close a door, presumably because they forgot the victim at the site of the accident.