Presumably as a distraction while all its arachnid friends break into the home seen in the background (Remember: we’re here for all the shoes!), this is a video of a spider weaving a web right in front of a Ring home security cam. I watched the whole thing, but the spider never did spell out ‘SOME PIG’ like Charlotte. I’d been holding out hope, you know? Sure it certainly seems like she died at the end of the movie, but I’ve seen spiders fake their own deaths before. And can you blame them? People are always trying to smack them with a rolled up magazine. If I were a spider I would 100% fake my own death, then cut off a couple legs and start chirping to live the rest of my life as a cricket. “Yeah, but–” *crickets*

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Designed by digital artist Simon Weckert, Digital Camouflage is an experimental project featuring different shirt patterns that confuse AI-powered human detection and tracking systems, helping the wearer go unnoticed. Art project or not, call the crew, the heist is back on.

“At first glance it reads as clothing with an abstract, almost hypnotic pattern. …It combines two strategies – distraction and confidence suppression: The pattern draws the algorithm’s attention while simultaneously lowering its confidence score for the person wearing it.”

Funny, whenever I pick out my own clothes they also seem to draw attention while lowering my confidence score. My girlfriend gave me a 3 when I was leaving for work, and I had to delete the Instagram post I made about feeling cute before she saw it. Two coworkers asked if I’d come to work straight from partying last night, and another asked if we were hosting a kid’s birthday at the office because who invited the clown.

27 years too late to wear to a midnight showing of The Phantom Menace (I still can’t believe I stayed up for that), this is the Jar Jar Binks purse Instagram user Barbara Randall made from an existing Jar Jar school supply box, a ton of rhinestones, and some fake eyelashes. Admittedly, after a few Corellian Whiskeys, I could see myself getting lost in those eyes. “You should see him yelling at himself in the mirror when he’s drunk.” Honey! “What?” The guy in the corner of the living room by the plants? I can’t stand that guy.

Video of the build below.

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Captured by the drone operators of Youtube channel Nelson Aerials, this is a compilation of 11 building implosions as viewed from directly overhead. Between the actual footage and sound and musical accompaniment, it was quite the spectacle. I’m not sure why the very beginning of the video says 17 implosions though, because the title says (and I counted) 11. Maybe they confused a 7 for 1. Or maybe this was just part of an even longer compilation I looked for but couldn’t find. Where are the other six implosions? Are they locked behind a paywall? Do I need to subscribe to a Patreon? “It was a typo.” Well, you know what has to be done now. “Does it involve imploding six more buildings?” I took the liberty of making a list of addresses — no need to pull any permits just get to imploding.

This is a stunning timelapse from Ilulissat, Greenland of an absolutely massive iceberg hitting the coast, and dislodging and losing so much ice that its center of gravity shifts, causing it to roll over. The whole process took about an hour, condensed to 10 minutes in the video. Would I have liked a 1-minute version? Yes, but I also have the attention span of a gold– what were we just talking about? Gold something? Goldfinches? I was hoping to attract some to my feeder this year but I had to take it down because it was spreading avian pink-eye. That iceberg reminds me of my dog. “Because it rolled over?” No, because she’s always running into things. Her night-vision is not so great. I assume she gets that from me because my girlfriend can see if I roll my eyes in pitch blackness. Is she a witch? I’d never say it to her face, but she does collect crystals and always has a candle burning.

Need a copywriter? That’s what I do, let’s work together.

Between Geekologie and BornInSpace I’ve written and published over 30,000 humor articles. Even I find it hard to believe whenever I type it. I have a marketing undergrad and MBA with concentrations in marketing and advertising, and over a decade of ideation and creative copywriting experience in DTC and agency settings. Headlines, campaigns, brand voice, scripts: if it needs to sound like a person talking to you instead of a press release talking at you, that’s my wheelhouse. Let’s sell some stuff. Could I sell ice cubes to Yetis? Easily, and convince them to pay double for trays.

Shoot me an email: [email protected]

Let’s make some magic together! (I also dabble in magic)