Getting Tingly With Pokemon: A Pikachu ASMR Video

Getting Tingly With Pokemon: A Pikachu ASMR Video

Psst. Hey you. Yes, you — in the sweatpants. You looking for some brain tingles? You looking for some PIKACHU brain tingles? Because I’ve got what you’re looking for right here. You got some good headphones? Well slip those mammer-jammers on and prepare to get all electric tingly with this Pikachu ASMR video. Me? ASMR videos have never really elicited much of a response from me. Granted I’ve only listened to them through a single blown laptop speaker, but just like good advice, magic tricks and most tasers, these sorts of things just don’t work on me.

What The?: Guy Jumps On Raw Eggs Without Breaking Them

What The?: Guy Jumps On Raw Eggs Without Breaking Them

Dream it, and you can achieve it. Case in point, Chinese street performer Lan Guangping, who in this video jumps on four raw eggs without them breaking. Well, he breaks one the first time he tries, but the second time he succeeds, although he breaks an egg on the dismount. He then jumps up on three eggs (two under one foot, one under the other), and dismounts without breaking anything. What a victorious feeling that must have been. Maybe not as victorious a feeling as I felt the time I broke eight boards with just my penis, but that barn was surprisingly well built.

Lifetime Made A Sexy KFC Colonel Sanders Holiday Movie Starring Mario Lopez

Lifetime Made A Sexy KFC Colonel Sanders Holiday Movie Starring Mario Lopez

Lifetime, in collaboration with KFC, is airing ‘Recipe For Seduction’, an original holiday mini-movie starring Mario Lopez as a sexy Colonel Sanders on Sunday, December 13th at 12pm eastern. I can hardly wait! Movie synopsis:

Presented by KFC and Lifetime. As the holidays draw near, a young heiress contends with the affections of a suitor handpicked by her mother. When the handsome chef, Harland Sanders, arrives with his secret fried chicken recipe and a dream, he sets in motion a series of events that unravels the mother’s devious plans. Will our plucky heiress escape to her wintry happily ever after with Harland at her side, or will she cave to the demands of family and duty?

Obviously, I plan on being glued to the television when it premieres with a bucket of the Colonel’s Original Recipe®, a box of biscuits, and nothing else. “You’re saying you’re not going to be wearing clothes.” As naked as the day I broke out my test tube and escaped that government lab.

11.5-Foot Salami Sold On Rotating Drum Like A Garden Hose

11.5-Foot Salami Sold On Rotating Drum Like A Garden Hose

Salami: it’s the new Fruit By The Foot. This is the 3.5 meter (~11.5-foot) Die Wurstkabeltrommel (“sausage cable drum”) available from German specialty food retailer Jungborn. The Krakow-style (spicy with a firm bite) salami hose costs €17 (~$21) and has an exposed shelf life of 8 weeks. 8 weeks — like you won’t polish that thing off in two days, max. You can also buy replacement salamis for €10 (~$12). Now, are you thinking what I’m thinking? “Does it involve climbing down two salami hoses you’ve tied together to sneak out your bedroom window at night?” Fingers crossed it’s not so greasy I slip and die, because if it’s anything like a Slim Jim I’m a goner.

The Bah Humbug Colorless, Flavorless Candy Cane

The Bah Humbug Colorless, Flavorless Candy Cane

Because nothing goes better with coal than a colorless, flavorless candy cane, this is the Bah, Humbug Candy Cane available from Archie McPhee. The 10.25-inch cane weighs 3.1-ounces and is void of “flavor, stripes, and Christmas Spirit.” They cost $4.50 apiece, which is a little bit more than I was hoping to spend on all the friends on my naughty list, but the looks on their faces is going to be priceless. And if not then I’ll sharpen the end to a point and stab them with it. “He’ll do it too.” Haha — my brother, ladies and gentlemen! He still has a piece of candy cane in his leg from Christmas ’98.

Home’s Christmas Light Show Choreographed To A-Ha’s ‘Take On Me’

Home's Christmas Light Show Choreographed To A-Ha's 'Take On Me'

Nobody can argue there’s a more Christmasy song than A-Ha’s 1985 classic ‘Take On Me’. You just can’t. And this is a video of Magical Light Shows owner Tom BetGeorge’s own annual Christmas lightshow, choreographed to the song. Really gets you in the holiday spirit, doesn’t it? Tom’s show only takes place on weekends for two hours a night, and I’m going to set up a roadblock and start charging admission. Obviously, I will also offer to valet any sports cars and then go joyriding and do donuts in the Target parking lot.