These are a few renderings of a realistic Toad as imagined by 3-D artist Miguel Vasquez.  Obviously, this is not the face you want to be thinking about when you’re trying to fall asleep at night.  Or the hairy nipples.  Granted you don’t want to be thinking about me when you fall asleep either, but that’s for different reasons. “Wet dreams?”  Hoho — you ever woken up so dehydrated you thought you were a mummy?

These are several satellite images (plus an embedded Google map) “of the northwestern coast of Madagascar where the saline waters of the Mozambique Channel join with the freshwater running through the Betsiboka River to make Bombetoka Bay.”  As you can see, the area looks like a giant octopus.  At least from above, from ground level it probably looks like a bay.  Or, who knows, maybe a giant, tasteful nude.  “Wait are you booking a flight?”  Tickets are cheap right now!

This is a composite shot of Star Trek: The Original Series’ Kirk, Spock and McCoy reimagined as ladies. Now I know what you’re thinking, and I agree — lady Kirk looks exactly like a girl I used to have a crush on in college.  “That’s actually not what I was thinking.”  Haha, you were wondering if it was too early for a space boner, weren’t you?  “Well?”  Maybe on earth, but this is space — time works differently!  “So….?”  So it’s never too early!   Go hang a sock on your Captain’s Quarters doorknob, champ, you’ve earned this.

These are several shots of the ‘Ring Of Fire’ resin rings produced by Etsy shop Apollo’s Rings. The $60 finger candy is made with two different types of glow powder that, after being exposed to a UV light source like the sun, make them appear to glow like molten lava. Obviously, you could easily trick Gollum into a volcano with one of these. “But why would I?” What do you mean why would you?  He’s a little creeper — you don’t want him hanging around eating all your fish and speaking in that Parseltongue.

This is a video of cellist Brendan Finucane performing Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory’s ‘Pure Imagination’ as part of a socially distanced celebration of the recent eighth grade graduates from the Chicago Waldorf School. And, at least based on the end of his one index finger, it appears Brendan may have also performed with a garbage disposal recently.

This is the Inflatable Coffin Beverage Cooler available on Amazon for around $19. The 4’6″ x 22″ inflatable looks like a pool float but it’s not — it’s a beverage cooler and can hold approximately sixty 12-ounce cold ones and a bunch of ice. Alternatively, fill it up with red-dyed jungle juice and call it blood punch. Vampires will be so pissed when they try it and it’s not real blood! And that’s when you stake them in the heart.