This is a video of hardware hacker and Twitter user @r1ckp (sweet Penfold profile pic, btw) demonstrating the new interactive LEGO Super Mario toy that he modded to function as a controller to play the original Super Mario Bros., including the ability to shoot fireballs and go down warp pipes using some of the LEGO set pieces. How about that! I swear, some people are so clever. I wonder what they’ll come up with next. My vote’s for affordable jetpacks!

Some people asked for it, so here's how shooting and pipes work pic.twitter.com/OACZYurh5u

— Rick (@r1ckp) September 3, 2020

This is some backyard security cam footage from Greenfield, Massachusetts of an elderly gentleman catching some z’s by the pool when a bear wanders in, gets a drink from the pool, and politely wakes the man with a touch of the shoe (what is it with bears and shoes?), presumably to remind him to not get sunburned. How courteous of him. You know my good pal/mortal enemy Terry actually lives in bear country and he videochats me whenever he spots one outside and not-so-deep down I always hope I’m going to get to witness a live mauling. They just run whenever he shouts at them though. I mean, at least until that bear is me in a costume with a machete.

This is the real life Toy Story Woody doll crafted by figure-maker toyman___zhao. He, uh, he definitely looks like a doll that can come to life. Now what he does when he’s alive is anybody’s guess, but based on the expression on his face, it’s gaze in wonderment at my package.

Keep going for a full shot.

This is the 3D printed xenomorph alien skull iPhone X/6/6S/7/8 case made and sold by Etsy shop Nvrlndesign. It costs $75 and none of the photos show the phone head-on or from the rear. I would have liked to have seen those shots specifically to aid in my purchase decision, because right now I’m on the fence about it. “Do you even own an iPhone X/6/6S/7/8?” No I do not. “So why would you–” I did it, I bought the case!

Seen here looking like some poor bastard just took a pipe hit so big it killed him, this is a video of propmakers Jaimie and Jay of Wicked Makers demonstrating how to make a simple slide so you can distribute Halloween candy to trick-or-treaters while maintaining proper social distancing protocols. Basically, get a length of PVC pipe and tilt it. That’s uh, that’s pretty much it. Then I suppose you can wrap it with toilet paper to make it look like a mummy boner bazooka or something if you really want. Alternatively, just throw candy at trick-or-treaters from your porch like I plan on doing. *hurling candy corn* GET OFF MY LAWN, TIGER KING.

This is a video from Featherheads Bird Rescue in Hobart, Tasmania of an exercise wheel crafted by Alison McNeice (NOT McNugget) to keep the chickens at the rescue enriched and entertained while they snack. Hey, whatever works. Also, did the person filming cut the video because they were laughing so hard they farted? Because I heard that. My sense of fart is actually so acute I can hear a silent but violent from a mile upwind, and without the proper ear protection a loud one ripped in the same room could kill me. *shrug* It’s a blessing and a curse. “That sounds like just a curse.” Please you’ve gotta help lift it I can’t go on like this.