This is ‘High-Tech KAPLA Tricks’, a video of unique domino maze tricks made using KAPLA blocks. Just give it a chance. I’m sure you’ve already moved on and now this article is long forgotten like a butterfly fart in a tornado and that’s a shame because the video is actually worth a watch. There really was some clever stuff in there. Hello, is anybody out there? HELLO? “I’m here, sweetie.” Awww, mom, you’re the best. “I’m here, sweetie.” It really means a lot to me. “I’m here, sw–” IS THIS A RECORDING?!

Keep going for the worthwhile video and at least give it thirty seconds before swearing you’ll never take my advice again even though that get-rich quick scheme was foolproof minus not working and losing all our money.

Booze: like most retail stores I’ve been asked to leave, bars don’t like it when you bring some in from outside. Enter the bangle bracelet flask available from online retailer Ali Express. The ~$12 bracelet is available in silver, rose gold, or rainbow colored finish and holds approximately 3.5-ounces of your favorite hootch. Obviously, there’s no way that is ever going to fit over my hand ankle, so– “It’s called a wrist.” Whatever, my point is I’ll just have to wear it– “No, it isn’t going to fit on your penis.” Haha, well not without making it the size of a tractor tire it’s not.

Because you have to get tough or die in Russia, this is a video of a young boy going to town on some sort of boxing reflex trainer (something like this) with a swinging arm that would have knocked me out cold after my first punch. I would still smoke this kid at Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!! for Nintendo though, just so we’re clear. *phone chime* And don’t respond to that text message from my brother claiming I could never beat Bald Bull.

Thanks again to MSA, who might very well earn herself a gold star sticker today if she keeps the tips coming.

Mini-movie is right, the popcorn hadn’t even stopped popping by the time the movie was over when I watched the premiere on Lifetime Sunday afternoon. This is an outrage. Well for those of you who missed it, now you can watch the entire 16-minute KFC sexy Colonel Sanders holiday mini-movie ‘Recipe For Seduction’ starring Mario Lopez on Lifetime’s Youtube channel (or below). I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t more than a little disappointed when my girlfriend and I watched it live. “He wouldn’t stop licking the screen.” She told me it was being presented in Taste-O-Vision!

Thanks to Caroline J, who agrees the Colonel was clearly here for a good time, not a long time.

Because The Mandalorian is all the rage these days, it appears everybody decided to choreograph their exterior Christmas lights this year to the show’s opening theme. This is a small sample of those people (four different houses), as well as a mind-blowing ‘best of’ Star Wars light show at the end. The Mandalorian: I guess some people are really into it. Me? I watched a few episodes and just thought it was okay. “You have a full-size baby Yoda tattoo on your chest.” THIS IS THE WAY.

Thanks to MSA, who informed me she wants a puppy for Christmas.

Note: this isn’t the whole thing, see below for the entire graph.

This is a visualization created by Roshaan Khan detailing the top global Google search queries for 2020, using the data from Google Trends’ ‘Year In Search’ report. As you can see, people are very quick to lose interest in things. Except death and TikTok, they can’t seem to get enough of those. So — are you thinking what I’m thinking?! “Not if it involves inventing an app called DeathTok.” I’m gonna be richer than Jeb Bevos! “Jeff Bezos?” Whatever, he’s a peasant to me now.

Thanks to my dad, who agrees if you aren’t Googling how to pronounce aluminum backwards what are you even doing with your life.