This is the 7-person inflatable airplane floating island manufactured by M Mark and available on Amazon. The $235 float includes two inflatable benches, two integrated coolers, four cup holders, and 100% good times. Although I have the sinking suspicion if Rose had managed to get her hands on one of these when the Titanic was going down she still wouldn’t have been able to find room on it for Jack.

These are several photos of the Curved Flatware set created and sold by Object Rights. 3D printed in bronzed steel, you can get a 2-piece set (dinner fork and knife) for $200, 3-piece (+ spoon) for $250 and 4-piece (+ salad fork) for $300. Obviously, none of those are very good deals, although the company advertises the set has an “ergonomic design to help reduce wrist pressure.” You know what else would help reduce wrist pressure? Having somebody feed you. I’m just saying, if you can comfortably afford to spend $300 on a 4-piece flatware set, you can also afford to have somebody in a sexy pilot or stewardess costume fly forkfuls of caviar and truffles into your hangar.

This is a long form (20-minute) video of internet scam expert/real life Liam Neeson from Taken Jim Browning doing his research and calmly calling out some tech support internet scammers by using their real names to let them know just how hard the’ve been busted. This guy, man — cool as a cucumber. The first portion of the video is him gathering information while speaking to one scammer, then at 7:00 he calls back and starts calling out another member of the team, eventually spooking him until he hangs up. He calls back yet again at 12:55 and really starts laying into the scam, then makes one final call at 15:45 to speak with the original scammer and freak him the f*** out. Needless to say, the whole thing got me more in the mood than listening a Barry White album and now I’ve been sitting in my car outside the beer store for ten minutes waiting for my boner to subside so I can go in and grab some cold ones.

This is a video of a kid crashing his bike into some recycling bins synced to the iconic drum break in Phil Collins’ 1981 banger ‘In The Air Tonight’. Obviously, he probably didn’t comprehend it at the time, but looking back I guarantee Al Gore realizes this is the exact reason he invented the internet in the first place.

Not sure who to thank for this, but it’s brilliant. Volume up. pic.twitter.com/q4OjWl4XXx

— Mark (@markaduck) August 10, 2020

Thanks to MSA, who agrees the thing in the air tonight is going to be the smell of blown out candles BECAUSE TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY AND WE ARE GOING TO PARTY SO HARD. Ooooor just go to Taco Bell (I haven’t been in over a year and it’s tearing me apart) and get ice cream afterwards.

The last Blockbuster store, located in Bend, Oregon, is letting residents of Deschutes County the chance to have an AirBnB sleepover in the store for three nights in September for just $4 a night (a cent more than the cost of a movie rental). So, yeah, just to be clear if you aren’t a resident of Deschutes County you can forget about the back pain of sleeping on that pullout sofa for a night. But is that going to stop me from being a poor sport and showing up the day of the sleepover and renting every single movie so whoever does get the AirBnB has nothing to watch but me dancing on the hood of their car through the store’s front windows? It is not.

Keep going for several more shots of the accommodations.

Thanks to my friend Jackie, who agrees they need to bring back an old Toys “Я” Us and do the same with it.

This is a short video of Bonzo the Rottweiler carrying around his 30-pound dumbbell because *flexing* it’s always the right time for gains. Obviously, that is not a toy you want Bonzo dropping on your feet for you to throw for him. Could you imagine him jumping onto bed and dropping that thing on your chest? I can feel my ribs cracking just thinking about it. Some more info:

Obviously, thinking about pumping all this iron has inspired me to paint an extra ‘0’ on one of my 5-pound weights, then try and fail to impress my girlfriend when she gets home and has to help me untie the thing from my penis before it does any permanent damage.

Keep going for the video as well as some still photos.

My uncle’s dog carries a 30-pound weight everywhere he goes pic.twitter.com/P9DMlsrnWt

— “yes i” (@portugi_bruja) August 9, 2020