This is the winner of GoPro Of The World’s best line, an incredibley bike run by Dave Herr. How he was able to navigate some of those tiny pathways at that speed is beyond me. Such coordination. I mean I can barely keep my car off the sidewalk and this dude is riding his bike down a razor’s edge. There’s no way I wouldn’t have fallen off. “There’s no way you would have gotten on that bike in the first place.” Haha *readjusting feet on coffee table* bring me some chips and another beer.

This is a video of Goodfellas’ “funny guy” scene between Ray Liotta and Joe Pesci reimagined as a Friends inspired 90’s sitcom, complete with laugh track. As I’m sure everyone will agree, laugh tracks, just like my last three roommates, are complete turds and ruin everything. One time I’d like to get even a small percentage of my security deposit back. But noooooo, I always end up living with someone who apparently turns into a wild animal at night and panics that it’s trapped inside. I mean there should never be this much broken glass and pee in the kitchen.

Note: Language.

This is a video of a student in the U.S. Air Force’s Introduction To Fighter Fundamentals course getting a dogfighting lesson in a T-38 Talon and his instructor getting very excited in the process. Sounds like a fun instructor. My flight instructor? He’d scream bloody murder every time we went airborne. “That’s because he was a driving instructor.” It took me three years to get my license.

This is a video of musician Dylan Tallchief performing A-ha’s classic ‘Take On Me’ with the digital audio workstation he built inside Microsoft Excel. After the song plays he then discusses how the audio workstation works and how he makes songs with it. Honestly, like the ‘You Must Be This Tall To Ride’ sign at Six Flags when I was five, it was a little over my head. I am dumb though. “You can say that again.” Then why are you even with me, honey?! And don’t say my awesome penis I want another reason.

Thanks to hairless, who can’t wait to see what Dylan can do with Microsoft Word. Hopefully my book report.

This is a video from the Liceu Opera House in Barcelona, Spain, which recently reopened and held a concert for 2,292 potted plants. That’s, uh, that’s something. I bet the plants are extra happy though because I think I read somewhere that it’s good to play music for your plants. But whatever you do, don’t play whatever music my girlfriend does because all her plants are dead. “It’s the sound of your voice that killed them.” Wooooow. Wow wow wow. Really honey? Because I was just joking but you went there and now I have no choice but to angrily confess I’ve been peeing in their pots when I’m too lazy to go all the way to the bathroom.

Keep going for two videos, one short news-report style one, and one longer of just the concert.

This is a visualization of all Blockbuster store locations in the US from 1986 to 2019. As you could probably imagine, there were very few in the beginning, a ton in the middle (peaking in early 2005), and now there’s only one left. It’s crazy to think there used to be a Blockbuster just down the street that I would go to all the time, and now it’s an indoor cycling gym and I go never. “Then why’d you get a membership?” Because of the very few things I’m good at in life, I’m incredible at lying to myself.