This is a short video of a dog coming when called and sticking its head out of its custom-cut dog head shaped hole in the fence gate so he can see what’s happening on the the other side of the world. That’s sweet. For reference, if I had a hole cut in my fence my dogs would be poking their heads out of it and barking nonstop. Like, legitimately nonstop. And that’s why I don’t have a hole cut in my fence. Or a fence at all, and they just bark at the front door nonstop anyway like they’re trying to will an Amazon delivery person here with nothing but their unbridled anger.

This is the Super Mario Piranha Plant desk lamp available from Target for $35 (also available other places, but $35 was the cheapest price I saw). The plant’s stalk is fully posable so you can shine its focused white LED light right where you need it. Are you going to use to illuminate a textbook while you pull an all-nighter, or read comics under the covers without disturbing your significant other? You know I used to do that whenever I couldn’t sleep at night. Except replace comics with– “Nudie magazines.” Honey! “What?” *frantically looking under bed* Where did you do with them?!

This is a short video of a tank being loaded onto the back of a flatbed trailer when it decides maybe it’s really a plane and half-heartedly attempts a barrel roll. Obviously, there’s no way Peppy Hare was impressed with that performance. It actually looks like a piece of the trailer broke off causing the roll-over, presumably because it was all, “Oh shit, a tank! Are you serious?” and pooped the bed. And I don’t blame it, I’ve seen the terrified looks in those poor cars’ headlights at monster truck rallies.

This is a short video of a precious little angel having her first ever slice of pizza and realizing just how magical it is immediately. Gosh, I can still remember my first piece of pizza. “No you can’t.” Not a chance. I wouldn’t even be able to tell you what I had for dinner Friday night if it wasn’t for the stain on my shirt. “Wait — the shirt you’re wearing now?” I feel like you’re judging me.

Note: Second video contains colorful language, like a rainbow.

Because Florida will never not stop being America’s crazy little penis, these are a couple videos of a semi cruising down the Florida Turnpike with a man hanging on the hood and beating the windshield with a metal bar while the driver tries to shake him off. Some more info while I use the Freedom Of Information Act to find out just what the hell Florida puts in its water supply:

He then climbed over the median wall from the southbound to the northbound side, slowing traffic. He then jumped on top of a moving semi tractor-trailer and began beating on the windshield with his hands.

Are you thinking what I’m thinking? “Meth.” Yep, or what else? “Meth.” Exactly, or possibly a combination of the two.

These are several videos from musician Samuel Kim reimagining themes from the Star Wars franchise in the style of medieval songs. Included are The Imperial March, The Force Theme (Binary Sunset), Duel Of The Fates, and The Mandalorian theme. He’s got even more than that though so if you’re really interested be sure to check out his Youtube page. If you’re interested in me, be sure to check out my dating profile page. “This is just an Amazon wishlist.” I know, money is the way to my heart. “Is it though?” And food. “Is that all?” If you had scales like a dragon we’re probably be doing it right now, hopefully in midair on the way back to our pile of gold.