This is some security cam footage of a woman who was trying to help a locked-out neighbor regain access to her apartment via the balcony when she discovered that door was also locked (A+ for security) and would have to climb back down to the ground. She wasn’t expecting this, nor had she planned for it, and ends up standing on top of a fence that clearly wasn’t made for standing, refusing a step ladder, and jumping off in the absolute worst way possible, perfectly crotching herself on the fence. That roll-away she performed afterward was top-notch though.

Dude: *offering his back to climb down onto* Slowly come down.
Chick: Dude I can’t f***ing come down, I have to jump off.
Dude: Okay…good luck.
Chick: *CRASH!* Uhhhhhh, f***.

This is a video of a Singaporean foursome performing a choreographed indoor skydiving routine at the 2023 World Indoor Skydiving Championships, complete with a bunch of flips and twists and hand-holding and all sorts of other fun stuff. You know, I’ve always considered trying this indoor skydiving thing, but I’m afraid I’ll get addicted and then find myself trying to break into SkyTime at 3AM to get a fix. I’m just being honest. It’s one of my faults. One of too — too many! HIYO, being an idiot is another.

Below is this particular performance, but if you’re into this you can see the entirety of the foursome competition in this playlist.

This is a clip from a 2011 episode of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? in which a contestant (who already used all three lifelines in the firsts four questions) is asked which planet out of four was derived from Greek mythology instead of Roman. While talking out her answer, she states, “I can’t even put a finger on Uranus.” Classic! Then after she unsurprisingly gets the answer wrong, host Meredith Vieira: “It was D, Uranus — Uranus was the answer.” My anus? Never the answer, always the problem.

This is a video from CUT of 100 different people trying to describe how they flirt. From what I gathered watching, it’s amazing any of them are in relationships, because they are not very good at it. It seems like a lot of them do more blurting than flirting, which is not ideal. But what do I know? I haven’t flirted since college, and even then I’m pretty sure the extent of my flirtation was beating the girl I liked at foosball then excessively gloating.

These are several videos of bear caretaker (beartaker) Jim Kowalczik on the grounds of the bear-oriented Orphaned Wildlife Center in Otisville, New York hanging out with Leo, a Syrian brown bear who has formed a special bond with Jim. Don’t give it any cocaine! Some info about the center and its work:

We have 11 bears of varying species living on our property. They are part of our Educational Program. …Our unique relationship with them is based on endless trust and caring. We have known them all of their lives, and we will always remain committed to them. …

These animals, especially the bears, are not a job. The permanent residents here are truly like their children and are treated and cared for as such…..Our true mission is to rescue and release animals BACK to the wild. That’s what we want to see – these wonderful animals get a little help – and then get back out where they belong!

I love the people who love the animals. The people who do not love the animals? Rotten apples in my book. Now I’m not saying I’d get all cuddly with a bear (I’ve seen Grizzly Man), but I can respect the people that do, even if they are totally nuts.

Remember that Star Wars trailer created in the style of a Wes Anderson movie? How could you forget, it was just last week. Sure it probably entered your brain, bounced around like a pinball for a bit, then drained right down the middle before the day was through, but now that I brought it up again you remember, don’t you? Still nothing? You should see a specialist. Well hot on the heels of that Star Wars version I really hope you remember now comes another trailer from Youtubers Curious Refugee (with the help of AI), this time for a Lord Of The Rings movie in the style of Wes Anderson. Just like the Star Wars version, I would totally watch a full length version. And probably buy a t-shirt so everyone knows what a big fan I am Monday through Wednesday. Thursday and Friday I wear a new shirt. Just not a new shirt both days, mind you. Weekends are always topless.