Our sun: in the grand scheme of stars in the universe, there’s really nothing that special about it. It’s only special to us and our life here on earth. It’s just an average yellow dwarf, the sort of sun that would float under everyone’s radar in high school. And this is a visualization comparing its relative unspectacularness to Stephenson 2-18, the largest known star, a red hypergiant that’s 2,143 times wider. Now that — that’s a star. It was probably captain of the football team AND homecoming king. Me? I was a dwarf planet and used to hacky sack at lunch with a ragtag gang of other Plutos. Look at us now though! “Never amounted to anything.” Not a single thing, even combined.

This is The Galactic Menagerie, a fan-made trailer from Youtubers Curious Refugee of what a Wes Anderson directed Star Wars movie might look like. It…looks about right. Lots of symmetry, very dry. Also, just for the record, I would watch it. Probably a bootleg filmed in the theater with a Sony Handycam. Not one of those new digital HD ones either, I’m talking Hi8. 720 x 480 resolution — OLDSCHOOL FLAVOR.

This is a clip from the Ocon Azerbaijan Grand Prix in which an F1 car almost hits a group of photographers who are standing in the pit lane, oblivious any cars are coming in for a pit stop. According to the announcers, “Oh, what is this about?!” “That’s a shambles!” “This is a shambles!” “Absolute shambles!” “That is a total and utter shambles of organization, and someone should have known!” So, if you were wondering why I’m be referring to anything and everything for the rest of the week as a total shambles, this is it.

"This is a SHAMBLES, absolute shambles!!" 😮 pic.twitter.com/cKk0NuPJUv

— Sky Sports F1 (@SkySportsF1) April 30, 2023

Because this is why the internet was invented (“It’s true.” — Al Gore), here’s a video of pet otters Kotaro and Hana (previously) reacting to a machine that makes water drops appear to drip backwards. I think it’s safe to say their little minds were blown. Honestly, my big mind was blown too. Big in size, not in power — not that you ever need reminding.

This is a video of Red Bull skydiver Maja Kuczynska’s 2023 Indoor Skydiving Championship performance. The moves she makes in that tube — they’re unreal. It’s almost like the zero-gravity dance scene in Ready Player One. That is some serious mind and body control. For reference, nine times out of ten when I think I’m peeing in the toilet at night I’m actually peeing in the waste basket next to it, and the one other time I’m peeing in a dresser drawer.

@kuczynska.maja

My routine for world championships 2023! Definitely my favorite so far :)))

♬ original sound – kuczynska.maja

This is a video of 21-year old Dutchman Jarmo Slutter performing his winning seagull imitation at the European Gull Screeching Championship held in Adinkerke, Belgium. Admittedly, he does sound exactly like a bird. The costume certainly doesn’t hurt either. Next year I plan to win the competition with a cleverly hidden recording of a seagull and my lip-synching skills. And if I don’t win I’ll complain the contest is rigged because my performance was actually a real bird I recorded, then get banned from ever competing again, which I probably would have been anyways if they drug test the winner.