This is some helmetcam footage of skier Francis Zuber rescuing a snowboarder trapped in a tree well (aka a spruce trap — the area directly under an evergreen’s branches that doesn’t get as much snow as the surrounding area and creates a pit you can fall into and get buried) while skiing at Mt. Baker in Washington. Francis happened to see the snowboarder’s board sticking out of the snow (and ONLY the board), and quickly springs into action to dig his face out so he could breathe. That’s absolutely terrifying. Also, proof that not all heroes wear capes — apparently some wear skis and mustard colored snow jackets.

This is some security cam footage from a laundromat of a dryer spectacularly exploding in a fireball, narrowly missing a customer who just left the business with his clean whites. People are speculating what caused the explosion, suggesting everything from lint to a lighter in someone’s pocket to fart-soaked underwear. Of course I think the cause is much simpler: this is a sign from God I should do laundry less often, and, ideally, get somebody else to do it for me.

Check your pockets before doing laundry! pic.twitter.com/k4njSdwaLf

— QENNY Southsider (@AKBrews) April 2, 2023

This is a video of a skydiving instructor doing some downhill speedflying with a parachute (it appears more kite than parachute) when he crashes after performing a barrel roll and and is unable to recover. That is unfortunate, and I have the sneaking suspicion this is exactly what Peppy Hare from Starfox was hoping for every time he tried to peer pressure me into doing one.

Barrel roll and crash are at 0:55 if time is money and you’ve been robbed.

This is a video of alligator behavioral expert Chris Gillette of Youtube channel Florida’s Wildest calmly feeding the rescue alligators at the Everglades Outpost in Ocala, Florida while discussing alligator behavior and human safety. I learned a lot by watching it. Mostly, that I could totally whisper to alligators just as well if not better than Chris here, and I plan on flying to Florida and making my own video to prove it. I’ve got the feeling it’s going to be a Youtube hit one way or the other.

To promote his new appropriately titled movie Selfiee, this is a video of Bollywood star Akshay Kumar setting the Guinness World Record for most selfies taken with different people in three minutes, with a respectable 184. He actually took 209 total, but 25 were disqualified due to being blurry, as the rules state “selfies must be in focus and sufficiently bright enough so that the person appearing in the picture can be recognized and identified as a unique participant.” Akshay achieved the record using two lines of fans approaching from both sides, quickly alternating from one side to the other snapping photos. Could I beat it? Of course I could beat it. Or, knowing me, take 250 photos in the wrong direction.

This is a video of an elevator full of people including Canadian folk artist Jessica Pierson, who took the opportunity to treat the captive audience to a sing-along. Some of the passengers look less than thrilled about the performance, although the two men in the back of the elevator do it very handsomely. I just looked at Jessica’s Instagram page and apparently she gave a recent airline flight the same impromptu concert treatment, leading me to believe that whether or not you actually want to listen to Jessica’s music, you’re going to hear it anyways.

Nightmare scenario pic.twitter.com/wio5Tuyg7u

— cal? @ 0F (@cal_gif) March 26, 2023