This is a side-by-side-by-side-by-side comparison of a cigarette lighter being lit, shot using four different Phantom highspeed cameras, capturing the action at 3,200FPS, 5,300FPS, 8,300FPS, and Matrix-speed 28,500FPS. That 28,500FPS footage doesn’t even look real. *touching earpiece* I’m being told it is though. “Who was that?” My fact-checker. “Wait — you have a fact-checker?” LOL, I don’t even have a shirt on.

Because I stopped trying to understand the internet a long time ago (I just work here with my head down), this is a video of Buckets the Drummer going unnecessarily hard on 10 drum intros while wearing a horse mask and performing on a bucket in the bathtub, usually with the toilet lid up. Hey, if this is your cup of tea, have at it. Heck, you can have mine too, I was going to make a cocktail anyways. “A Molotov cocktail?” Is there any other kind?

Because nothing quite screams robot apocalypse like a flying robotic spider, researchers at the University of Tokyo’s robotics department have developed just that, in the form of SPIDAR. What does SPIDAR stand for? Why ‘SPherIcally vectorable and Distributed rotors assisted Air-ground amphibious quadruped Robot’ of course! Jeez, use your brain.

The word “amphibious” usually means maneuvering in both land and water, but in this case they apparently mean both land and air. The challenge of this robot was to make it powerful enough to walk and fly while keeping the weight low enough for air travel. SPIDAR uses 16 thrusters to fly, and to assist the small servo motors used for walking.

Well, it’s been real. There’s no doubt in my mind that there’s no coming back from this. We’ve crossed the line, and the only thing on this side of the line is the end of humanity at the legs and fangs of giant flying robotic spiders. I could say I told you so, but what’s the point? “Being right.” Oh yeah, I do love that. I told you so. We’re all still gonna die though.

Because role-playing is fun, this is a video of a Dutch spotted sheep who resides at the Yew Tree Farm School in Sittingbourne, England pretending it’s a dog-sheep and herding the sheep-dog border collie that would normally be herding it. Hoho, role reversal! That’s fun. Like sometimes at work I pretend I’m the boss and strut around the office like a peacock micromanaging everyone and never doing any actual work. Then after a long lunch with a few drinks I fall asleep on the can in a bathroom stall until it’s time to go home. LinkedIn, are you getting this? I’ve got numb legs and management material written all over me.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Yew Tree Farm School (@yewtreefarmschool)

Because soon the day will come when everything that shouldn’t exist, does, this is the FINGERring from artist Nadja Buttendorf: a ring that looks like a realistic finger. The bonus finger is made from silicone, and was designed to be cast in a color that matches its wearer’s skintone for max realism. Freaky! I must have one. Of course knowing my girlfriend I could probably wear it for a month without her noticing. When I broke my leg it took her two weeks to notice the crutches and finally sign my cast. “Did she draw a pen15?” Would I be dating her if she didn’t?

This is a video of the Slow-Mo guys attempting to skip bullets across the water in an aquarium like stones across a pond. That’s cool. Maybe not as cool as my stone-skipping skills, but with the perfect rock I can get three or four bounces sometimes. Without the perfect rock I usually throw sinkers. And with a giant rock we could crush Piggy and let anarchy rule!