This is a video of some MENSA member who decided to take his work truck through an automated carwash WITH A LADDER ON TOP, and wreck both ladder and car wash in the process. Did your ladder really need a cleaning that bad? What is wrong with people? Now I know it takes all kinds, but my goodness how awesome would be if it took less of the stupid kind?

This is a video of a precious lil penguin joining an arctic expedition, presumably to ensure the humans don’t stumble across the frozen Lost City Of Atlantis and reveal its secrets. Of course in reality (my least favorite place), it’s just using the path trampled by the humans to make its way back up to the rest of its colony without exerting any more energy than necessary. Now that I can relate to. Work smarter, not harder — that’s my motto. And, ideally, don’t work at all. HEY HONEY, CAN YOU MAKE ME A HOT CHOCOLATE?

These are a series of commercials for Apple and Paypal featuring Jeff Goldblum that have been slowed down, and make him sound drunk. Does this work for everybody in all commercials? I’m not sure, but it did work with Flo from those Progressive commercials, because I just tried it. I feel like a whole can of worms has just been opened, and you know what that means. “Time to go fishing!” Exactly, grab your rod and meet me by the pond. Also, how do we know these commercials weren’t actually filmed when Jeff was drunk, then sped up? Food for thought. Probably a freezer-burnt TV dinner.

Because you have to work with what you’re given, and if you aren’t given anything you steal a tractor and make a run for it, this is a video from North Carolina of 43-year old Ronnie Hicks (despite the perfect North Carolina name, I assume he’s actually visiting from Florida and trying to get back) leading authorities on a low-speed chase in a stolen John Deere, at break-neck speeds up to 20MPH (I like how the chase is actually holding up traffic). Clearly, he thought this all the way through.

Along the way, Hicks struck a Boone county police car, a dumpster, a church and several vehicles, though no injuries were sustained.

Eventually he pulled into a private drive, abandoned the stolen tractor, fled on foot, turned, brandished a knife, was Tased by officers and arrested.

That sounds about right. No word if Hicks will be extradited to Florida where he belongs, but knowing Florida, he’ll probably be awarded a medal and 1/16th ownership of a time-share instead of getting the alligator penalty like I suggested.

YIKES! Man arrested after leading police on chase in stolen John Deere tractorhttps://t.co/1tTdqhAeZv pic.twitter.com/PiDxPG2HvC

— KWTX News 10 (@kwtx) January 19, 2023

This is a video from a Korean foundry where giant hex nuts are made (imagine the Erector Set you could build with those things!), detailing the process in which steel rods are transformed into some of the biggest nuts I’ve ever seen. The North Atlantic right whale excluded of course, which has the largest testes in the animal kingdom, weighing as much as 2,000 pounds and constituting 2% of its total body weight. Now those — those are some massive nuts. Almost as big as the ones it takes to be an astronaut.

This is a video from Wired highlighting the work of chalk artist Kurt Wenner, who creates realistic perspective pieces on a large scale. In the video, he discusses the various pieces he’s made, his process, and the challenges that arose while creating them. It was an interesting watch. Maybe not as interesting as my watch, but it’s a naked lady who tells time with her hands. It’s a family heirloom. I’m joking, it’s a Mickey Mouse watch I repurposed.