This is a video of two Buzzfeed Australia journalists (does that make me a journalist too?) ordering the same Subway sub as the person in front of them at the drive-thru, then rating those sandwiches. Of course they’re in Australia, so the sandwiches are already a little different. Also, I’ve never even been to a Subway that had a drive-thru, so that’s different too. I do believe that sandwiches taste better when eaten in the car though. There’s just something about dropping a mayo-covered pickle between your car seat and the center console that you can’t get anywhere else.

This is a video of Brazilian pianist, accordionist, sound engineer, musician, aquarist (aquarium keeper), YouTuber, and starer (you got a problem with me?!) Vinheteiro demonstrating skill progression on a harpsichord from one minute of playing, to ten years (5,256,000 minutes). Of course this is assuming the musician already has some piano-playing skills they can transfer to the similar-but-different harpsichord. Me? My skills have never progressed beyond briefly playing the Jaws theme on every piano I pass.

Because toes aren’t weird enough looking already, nail artist Tahvya of Nailedbytav created this realistic eyeball toenail art. She handpainted each eyeball, and says the whole process took about three hours. Three hours well spent if you ask me! This probably goes without saying, but this is the perfect pedicure for the lover of a person with a toe AND eyeball fetish. Just imagine sucking on those toeballs — hummina hummina! I think I’m gonna be sick.

Ready to keep you company whenever you JurASSic Park yourself on the toilet (I’m an idiot and fully aware) to take care of business and do some light Instagram scrolling comes this molded resin velociraptor toilet paper holder. Available on Amazon (affiliate link, also available in t-rex, pic below), this particular raptor is obviously not a clever girl or she wouldn’t be living in your bathroom. That poor, poor bathroom. Seriously, light a match. Or better yet a bonfire.

Clearly having taken advantage of some Black Friday flatscreen deal, this is a video of Youtuber Drew Builds Stuff constructing a massive virtual floor-to-ceiling window using three TCL 75″ Class 5-Series 4K Smart TVs. That’s cool. He could have made an actual window for far cheaper though, especially if he doesn’t care about actually putting glass in. Shoot, I can be over there in a jiffy and make you a floor to ceiling window real quick. “Let me guess, you’re just going to drive your–” *CRASH!* What wall was it again? This looks like the kitchen.

Because dream it and you can achieve it, this is a video of Willy Wonka’s son Amaury Guichon (previously) constructing a full-size foosball table entirely out of chocolate. As in, it’s ALL chocolate, from the legs to the poles to the players to the balls. He likely made the table in honor of the World Cup, but in my mind he made it because he knows how much I love chocolate AND foosball. Thanks, Amaury, I look forward to its arrival!