This is a video of the gun-lovers at Kentucky Ballistics firing a 7 bore (internal muzzle diameter, 0.873″) blunderbuss. God, I feel the high seas calling my name just looking at it. But I told myself my life of piracy is over — I’ve settled down now. I do miss it though, and often remove my cutlass from its scabbard and daydream of my former life as a pirate captain while sitting at my desk in between video conferences. Sailing the seven seas, singing pirate shanties with my crew, hunting for buried treasure… Admittedly, I have a lot of regrets. Mostly about none of this fantasy being real except the video conferences.

Because the power of the internet offers us an unbridled look into other people’s lives that we otherwise wouldn’t (and probably shouldn’t) have, these are several videos from Youtuber MrPanFace featuring anthropomorphic crepes with googly eyes lip-syncing to songs on the stove. Admittedly, I did not expect much, and was pleasantly surprised with the professionalism of these crepes. I can only imagine karaoke at this house is, as my own stove often is, on fire.

To celebrate Valentine’s Day the only way I know how (with an underwhelming blog post), this is a map of the U.S. detailing each state’s favorite rom-com movie according to Google Trends data (see below for a much better breakdown). What’s your state’s favorite? I was more than a little disappointed to discover not a single state shared my own personal favorite rom-com. “Die Hard is not a rom-com.” John McClane is hilarious and doing it all for love!

This is a video of wood expert and Youtuber justinthetrees (who looks a lot like Ted Lasso) tasting seven different breads, each one made with sawdust from a particular tree (cherry, cedar, oak, hickory, black walnut, pine, plus one with no sawdust). He’s then tasked with guessing which tree the sawdust for each bread came from. He only mixes up oak and hickory, but gets all the rest. Wow, dude definitely knows his trees. Me? I can shamefully only identify a handful of trees. Mostly the ones they plant alongside the road. “Those are telephone poles.” I’m pretty sure they’re electricitrees.

This is a compilation video pieced together featuring a variety of cats drinking water while laying down. It appears some of them actually ARE trying to drink, but others are just playing with the water. Kind of like how I’m always blowing bubbles in my chocolate milk. My girlfriend hates it and the last time she saw me she very firmly told me to stop and I was like, “Why?” and then she’s all, “Mom, dad, I’d like you to meet my boyfriend.” I think they liked me. Plus her parents were footing the bill so I got steak & lobster and three desserts.

This is a live-action fan film from Youtuber Batinthesun pitting Batman and Superman against Darth Vader. But mostly just Batman vs Vader until the very end. The production value is surprisingly high, which explains why they were only able to make a 5-minute movie. Unfortunately for me and my viewing pleasure, my popcorn had barely finished popping before it was over. I did still manage to slam a 72-ounce Coke though.