This is a video of musician Ralf Bienioschek covering Queen’s classic ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ on recorder, layering multiple tracks to perform the entire song. That’s impressive. And those recorders are impressive too, nothing like the ones we played in elementary school, which were basically McDonald’s straws with holes in them. And you wonder why our Christmas concert sucked so bad! Plus, okay, I nervous puked and set off a whole bunch of other kids as well.

Because my feet demanded it, Adidas is releasing limited edition The Simpsons themed sneakers. There will be a Superstar with Marge Simpson’s blue hair covering the entire shoe, and a Stan Smith with Homer’s iconic ‘backing into the bushes’ meme on its heel. They’ll be released before the end of the year, and expect demand to be high. Higher than for Tickle Me Elmos during Christmas ’96? Haha, now let’s not get crazy. A woman at Walmart choked me out with her purse strap!

This is a video of Youtuber ProZD sampling 40 different Jack In The Box menu items. Thankfully, not all in one sitting, because I noticed no less than 12 shirt changes. That’s a relief, because you don’t want to tempt fate trying to eat that many heart attacks in a row. Or maybe he’s just a really messy eater and kept dripping condiments on his shirt and really did do this all in one day. I’d prefer not to think about it. He gives out a few A’s and C’s, but most of the food falls in the B range. That’s not bad for fast food, especially considering my girlfriend gives most of my home cooking a D.

The brainchild of engineer Ekaggrat Singh Kalsi, this is an analog clock created in the style of an LCD digital clock. Taking the flip clock to a whole new level, it raises and lowers its number segments using a cleverly designed series of cams and levers operated by a controller circuit and stepper motors. That’s fun. Fun, and waaaay over my head as far as design goes. I couldn’t even build a sundial that works. “Did you try using your penis?” It was the only thing I did try! It kept saying it was time to stop waving it around in the yard and take a nap.

This is some police dashcam and bodycam footage of a motorcycle/foot pursuit that ends with the suspect engulfed in flames after police taze him and his backpack (carrying a gallon of gasoline) is ignited. The suspect is expected to recover and faces all sorts of felony charges, but probably also learned a valuable lesson about carrying gasoline in your backpack. I fear that I too will have to learn this lesson the hard way. “That would never happen to me,” we all tell ourselves until it does.

Because those food delivery robots have the spacial awareness of something with absolutely piss-poor spatial awareness (I’m a wordsmith), this is a video of a little food delivery bot getting hit by a train after blatantly ignoring the railroad crossing and trying to wheel itself across the tracks with a locomotive coming. I like the woman who filmed the incident “Oohing!” like it was a damsel in distress tied to the rails that got hit instead. Still, this is unfortunate, and I can’t help but feel sorry for the drunks that never got their soggy tacos and had to go to bed wasted.

Rest in peace food delivery robot and who ever ordered their food pic.twitter.com/rzA245mYGZ

— R A W S A L E R T S (@rawsalerts) October 25, 2022

Thanks again to my dad, who, for three tips on one day, earns himself a gold star sticker he can wear proudly in the Mediterranean, undoubtedly making all the locals jealous.