This is a video of Heather Parisi and a group of dancers performing Michael Sembello’s 1983 Flashdance banger ‘Maniac’ in a way that can only be described as the 80’s personified. There’s no question they’re all maniacs. The way they all move — it’s unnatural, and it gives me anxiety trying to imagine just how much coke probably went into the production of this video, because my guess is enough to make even Tony Montana jealous.

Keep going for the video, things really start to pick up after the minute mark.

This is a video of word sleuth Andrew Yells (I scream) solving ten Wordle Unlimited puzzles in 69 seconds. Now I know what you’re thinking, and I agree, it’s a shame ORALS wasn’t the last answer. Of course Andrew isn’t going for solving in the least number of guesses, only the fastest, so he always slams the same four words in first (BRICK, PODGY, SHUNT, and FLAME), then tries to solve based on the clues he’s given. Not a bad technique if you’re cool solving Wordle in five guesses. Me? If I don’t solve it in one guess I just close the window and give up. One of these days though — one of these days TURDS is gonna pay dividends.

This is a local Fox 11 news report about a Tesla driver who launched down Baxter Street (with a 32% grade) in the Silver Lake neighborhood of Los Angeles Saturday night, catching what can only be described as Dukes Of Hazzard levels of air before crashing into a garbage can and someone’s parked Subaru. Obviously, local residents aren’t thrilled that police won’t do anything about it. But local idiots with cars? Local idiots with cars are definitely thrilled police won’t do anything about it.

This is some Ring home security cam footage of a curious bear jumping the fence into a pigpen to see if the pigs will share some of their delicious slop with it. Unfortunately for the bear, the answer is no, and two pigs take turns rushing it until it decides maybe it should leave and go eat its own food. Little did it know the surprise Goldilocks had waiting for it when it returned home. Dum dum dum!

This is a 13-minute video of rotating sandwiches accompanied by the Nintendo game music that Youtuber Bobber WCC spent “too many hours” determining which was “the most fitting for each sandwich.” Is it REALLY the most fitting for each sandwich? That’s for you to decide, because I couldn’t hear any of the music over the sound of my stomach growling. Those were some sexy looking sandwiches, I’m not gonna lie. “Ever made out with a Rueben before?” Or my name isn’t Monte Cristo!

This is an all-too-short video of some sort of road rage incident in progress starring a car passenger approaching another vehicle from the right rear, then sliding across the hood of the car and perfectly connecting a punch with the driver’s face through their open window. Obviously, Fast & Furious is furious they didn’t think of this first, because that was a SLICK MOVE. The franchise would be foolish to not hire this Monster chugging Kyle as a production consultant, because he clearly knows how to live life a quarter mile at a time. Or an 8-10 month jail sentence at a time. Whatever the case, these are movies I would watch.

@hoodx_ Mans just slid across the hood and clocked his shii #fyp #foryou #knockout #roadrage #funny #punch #hoodx_ #viral ♬ Inside Their Head – TT remix

Thanks again to JustA, who agrees that slide across the hood was an easy 12 out of 10.