This is a clip from traveler Jay G of his window view from a San Francisco Hampton Inn. And what a view it is! The city seems so close I feel like I can almost just reach out and touch it. Also, I can almost guarantee this room still costs $300/night and was advertised as ‘extra private.’ Speaking of privates– “You once used your penis as a bridge to escape Alcatrez.” Not just me, several other inmates as well.
This is a video of Youtuber Scotty Cranmer and friends testing out the pogo bike (poke? bigo? pogke? bikgo?) they built. It works remarkably better than I expected, which, due to my innate pessimism, I expected to not work at all. I suppose some people’s homebrew projects turn out a tad better than my own do. *tries to turn head to eye failed trampoline skateboard in corner of hospital room, can’t, tries to shrug, can’t do that either* Seemed like a good idea at the time. “And what time was that exactly?” The time right after I drank eight beers for breakfast.
This is a video from the Franklin Park Zoo in Boston where recent mother Kiki the gorilla reacts to recent human mother Emmelina and her newborn. Emmelina has her five-week old son Canyon with her, and Kiki her newborn son Pablo. Kiki repeatedly tries to caress the human baby’s head through the glass. Mothers, am I right? “What about them?” Mine makes the best spaghetti.
Because the justice system must go on, this is a short clip of Zoom court being held, and a man appearing before the judge with the name Buttf***er 3000 (funny, I think I knew a 2000 model on AOL Instant Messenger in the early 2000’s). The judge immediately calls him out for it (including telling him “Your name isn’t Buttf***er 3000, you yo-ho,” and the guy looks genuinely surprised, so I’m not sure if he actually did this himself or if a roommate played a prank on him to get him locked up. In completely unrelated news, my apartment should have a vacancy soon.
Because monsters are among us, this is a clip from the 2021 Wells Fargo Championship at Charlotte, North Carolina’s Quail Hollow Club of what appears to be a great-grandchild descendant of Nessie’s making a brief appearance, apparently to mock a golfer’s missed putt. “You suck!” I imagine it trying to yell but nothing but bubbles coming out.
The director of Communications for the Wells Fargo Championship told WCNC Charlotte that the creature that popped out of the water Sunday afternoon was most likely a catfish with a fin, and by the looks of the video… a large one.
Sure, “Most likely a catfish with a fin,” but not definitively. I’m afraid I have no choice but to drive down to Charlotte this weekend and investigate that pond. And by investigate I mean siphon most of the water into a sand trap, then loot all the lost golf balls and sell them to a local driving range. “What about the monster?” He only gets a small finder’s fee.
This is a video of muscular and energetic Youtuber Ginger Billy discussing and demonstrating the ride-in lawnmower he modded from of an old Ford Festiva. In his own words while I herd my goats through the house from the the front yard to the back yard so they can continue mowing there:
I got tired of getting sun burn and having swamp butt every time I cut grass on a regular lawn mower…so I developed the most luxurious cutting machine you’ve ever seen! The RON BEER!
Admittedly, that might really be the most luxurious cutting machine I’ve ever seen. I mean it has air conditioning. The closest I’ve ever come to owning a lawnmower with air conditioning is a cup holder.
Thanks to MSA and my dad, who agree necessity is the mother of invention.