Note: Video contains spoilers if you haven’t watched the show because your ex changed the password on their Disney+ account.

Take a step into my time machine (actually a repurposed refrigerator box) and turn the dial to 1985! This is a reimagined trailer for The Book Of Boba Fett as if it came out in the mid 80’s, back when I was wearing diapers. I mean I still am, but I was then too. Per the video’s creator, who really went above and beyond creating a backstory:

It’s 1985. Return of the Jedi released in theaters two years prior. Lucasfilm Ltd is eager to follow up on Caravan of Courage and expand the Star Wars cinematic universe.

“Star Wars is making its way into your homes like you’ve never seen it before. On prime time network television! Presenting The Book of Boba Fett. Join the galaxy’s most feared bounty hunter as he embarks on new adventures in a galaxy far, far away every Wednesday night. Only…on ABC. Check your local cable listings for showtimes.”

The soundtrack and the voiceover is what really sold me. I’m a sucker for good voice acting. “He always asks me to talk like a robot in bed.” Honey! “What?” That was supposed to be our little secret. “And the computer monitor you wanted me to wear as a helmet?” Shhhhhhhhhh!

Because ‘you should really get a hobby’ means different things to different people, this is a video of ‘Seven Nation Army’ by The White Stripes being performed by a small seven-member army of googly-eyed electric toothbrushes, printers, credit card receipt printers, and a clothes iron (which I mistook for a groupie at first). There’s also one credit card receipt printer responsible for making the frontman toothbrush dance. Me? I don’t need to be made to dance, all you have to do is ask. “Will you dance for us?” Hell no, my legs are tired.

Because at least some people still care about us seeing a glimpse of the future before the world ends, the AirCar Prototype 1 has officially received a Certificate Of Airworthiness, and the company plans to have production models available next year. But they are going to change the name, right? Because I don’t want to fly an AirCar Prototype 1, I want to fly an AirCar TriedAndTrue 5000. I’m not trying to die some aeronautical guinea pig. The AirCar can transform from car to plane with just the push of a button in two minutes. It can also transform from a plane back into a car with the push of a button and an additional two minutes. Of course you probably won’t live to see the end of that transformation if you push the button mid-flight. I say go for it!

So, you totaled another car. Where does it go? What happens to it? Is it really bulldozed into a volcano like your imagined? Or maybe it’s sent to the junkyard and ripped apart piece by piece by a Powerhand VRS in order to separate the resellable parts from the recyclables, and the recyclables from the shit that’s just going to sit around until the end of time. Now I don’t know about you, but I want my own Powerhand VRS. That thing looks SWEET. Could you imagine ripping an enemy limb from limb with one of these things? Because I am right now. Imagining it, just so we’re clear. Hang up the phone, nark.

This is some footage from inside the cab of an ambulance as the driver navigates crowded streets like they’re practically empty (with liberal use of their noise-maker) while their passenger scrolls their Instagram feed. Hey, everybody contributes in their own way. Now these driving skills — these are the skills that every idiot driver out there thinks they have, yet still takes three tries to pull into a parking space with a car on one side.

This is a video of Tiktok user miarosemia8 filming her relatively fit boyfriend at the beach when a sea lion appears out of nowhere (that water looks shallow!) and gives chase while Mia screams. There’s also a video of the aftermath, which involves the sea lion gloating in the sand, filmed by Mia from a safe distance. Sea lions, am I right? They’re always arf-arf-arfing and trying to scare you. Hey God — when I come back, I want to be a sea lion, okay? “You’ll be another turd and like it.” Not again!

@miarosemia8

please enjoy the og video of my husband and i being chased by a sea lion <3

♬ original sound – mia

@miarosemia8

look how proud of himself he was after he made me run half way down the beach

♬ original sound – mia

Thanks to JustA, who agrees they should just be thankful it wasn’t a shark with legs.