This is a super sweet video of a baby cam capturing a young boy calling his dad ‘daddy’ for the first time. You can tell the father is absolutely over the moon about it, as well he should be. He even steps on a piece of wooden train track afterwards and it doesn’t even phase him — he’s on Cloud Nine. Me? I’m on Cloud Negative Nine right now because my son just called the milk man daddy for the first time. *shaking head dejectedly* I was wondering why we weren’t just buying it from the grocery store like everyone else.

Because some people are sicker than others, there’s currently an active Kickstarter for the ~$70 Glacial Shower, a shower head that allows you to place a solid block of ice (ice mold included) inside so you can take showers even colder than your cold water alone will allow. I don’t know about you, but my penis is already reaching for the hot water knob just thinking about it.

Problem: Unless you live in Alaska your “Cold Shower” is not that cold, probably just “Cool” or, “Luke Warm.”

Solution: The Solid Block Of ICE inside the Glacial Shower 2 in 1 Head. Add that Solid BLOCK of ICE when you want to feel the full BENEFITS of Ice Chilled Water in your Shower!

I’ll be honest, as a non-athlete the only benefit I can see to taking cold showers is saving on my water bill, because I wouldn’t be taking any more showers. If it’s a cold shower or no shower, I’m just adding another layer of cheap cologne. Then I’d also save on dates because my girlfriend would almost certainly leave me. She already complains about the way I smell and I shower twice a day. Okay, okay — I sit in the shower twice a day, I don’t actually do any soaping or scrubbing.

Because where there’s a will, there’s a way, this is a video of a small cat using everything it’s got to open a large sliding glass door and gain access to the comfortable indoors. I like how the dog just waits to come in afterwards. Also, just an fYI — the cat’s wearing a wrap around its waist due to a skin rash, that’s not an injury. Me? I’m also wearing a wrap around my nether regions due to a skin rash. The arm cast though? That was an injury. Does it smell to you?

This is some Ring security cam footage of a Woodbridge, Virginia home’s ceiling randomly collapsing. Per the homeowner: ‘Just a normal day. I went down to the basement to do some laundry. While downstairs I heard a huge crash. The basement ceiling shook. Came upstairs to find this. No one was hurt, the dogs are fine.’ Thank God the dogs are fine, that’s all I really cared about. Now, based on my professional sleuthing skills, I determined the cause of this collapse is the direct result of the owner being a Cowboys fan, as evidenced by the ‘A MAN’S BEST FRIENDS ARE HIS DOGS AND HIS TEAM’ plaque on the lefthand wall that’s exposed after the lamp falls. “And by the transitive property of mathematics, anyone willing to root for the Cowboys is probably willing to invest in a home with a ceiling held together with nothing but three playoff wins in the last 25 years!” Yeah! Or it’s really hard to properly install a ceiling from horseback with a lasso.

This is a video from WIRED of astrophysicist Paul M. Sutter answering questions asked on Twitter. Questions like what is dark matter, how many exoplanets are there, what’s it like a black hole, and what is a parallel universe? Unfortunately, he did not answer any of the love and relationship questions I asked, which is a shame because I’m in a real pickle with my girlfriend at the moment. She thinks I shouldn’t burp loudly around the house, but I think I’ll explode if I don’t. I really need someone to tell me I’m right.

In response to news host and comedian Tabitha Lipkin’s TikTok ‘News Anchor Challenge’ in which participants are asked to report on something mundane in life in their best news anchor voice, this is a video of fellow news anchor Kayla Marie Sullivan reporting on her son’s recent meltdown at an Olive Garden. I’d argue an Olive Garden meltdown isn’t the most mundane topic (I still have pieces of breadstick in my hair from my nephew’s last OG meltdown), but that’s beside the point. Kayla absolutely nails the delivery, and I can see clearly now why she’s a news anchor, and why I’m regularly told at television and radio job interviews that my face and voice are better suited for the internet.

Keep going for the video, complete with followup interview with the suspect.

@kaylareporting Now accepting donations for babysitters & or take out! Venmo: @Kayla-Sullivan-96 🤣 #NewsVoice #ToddlerMom #EveryKiss #newsvoice #YerAWizard #2022 ♬ original sound – Kayla Marie Sullivan

@kaylareporting Sorry, @heinz! #Inflation has me slippin’ #GreatValue #Ketchup #newsvoice #exclusive #interview #follow #2022 #fy #ToddlerMom #Series #funny #MomTok ♬ original sound – Kayla Marie Sullivan

Thanks to JustA, who agrees Kayla deserves her own show reporting on stories that didn’t make the cut for prime time news, like how the garbage men didn’t take all my garbage today for some reason.