This is a video of a young deer reaching for the stars and appearing to do a little airwalking in the middle of an absolutely massive leap. Is it an airbender? Maybe. I mean that was one hell of a jump. What is this, the X Games? Because that had gold medal performance written all over it, presumably in the sticky residue of a spilt Monster Energy drink. FUN FACT: One time my girlfriend and I were having a little picnic when Bambi and Thumper and Flower stopped by, curious about our food. So I poured a little Monster out for them and next thing you know they’ve tracked down and murdered the hunter that shot Bambi’s mom. Red Bull may give you wings, but Monster Energy gives you revenge.

Keep going for two versions of the video, the second of which circles the deer in bright red in case you were having trouble spotting the deer because you were trying to watch through your eyelids.

And the gold medal for long & high jump goes to…….@ParveenKaswan
Forwarded as received pic.twitter.com/iY8u37KUxB

— WildLense® Eco Foundation 🇮🇳 (@WildLense_India) January 15, 2022

This is a video of Katie (aka Katie-potatie) the beautiful golden retriever insisting her friend (who she hadn’t seen in three months) come outside and play in the snow with her in a chill -18 degrees in Ontario, Canada. Or maybe Katie just really wants that sweatshirt. It does look comfy. Still, -18 is a little cold for playing in the snow as far as I’m concerned. The only thing I’m doing when it’s -18 degrees outside is sipping a hot mug of cocoa by the fire, then climbing into that fire.

This is a US map detailing each state’s most ordered hot sauce via Instacart, using data collected by the company. As you can see, sriracha is king, followed by Franks RedHot and Cholula. Well at least Cholula made the top three. I like Tapatio too. Honestly, I’m not sure if I’d even consider sriracha a hot sauce, it’s more of a… “Lube.” Haha, what?! Did you think I said McDonald’s tangy BBQ?

Keep going for the top ten hot sauces, and the average number of ounces ordered per customer.

This is a video of maker of things The Q modding a hoverboard with saw blades for wheels so it can travel on ice. He doesn’t just use straight-off-the-shelf from Home Depot blades though, he welds a small piece of metal to each tooth for more traction. Cool, but is this a good idea? You know, many of the world’s greatest ideas were considered foolish when they were first introduced. This is not one of them. It’s a hoverboard with saws for wheels — unless I can ride it into battle and decapitate all my enemies on a single battery charge, I’m not interested. Now a monster truck with saw blades for wheels…

Keep going for the video, but skip to 2:57 for the unveiling and riding, everything prior is the build.

Because the human body is the finest machine ever crafted by the gods, this is a video of a member of the World Taekwondo Federation performing a 720° horizontal spinning kick quadruple board break. Most impressive. Could I do this? Maybe in a video game. Oh who am I kidding, I couldn’t even get Chun-Li to perform her inverted Spinning Bird Kick in Street Fighter II and would always get my ass handed to me. And in real life? Heck, I recently tried jumping up and clicking my heels together pretending I was the freeze-frame at the end of a vintage Mentos commercial and now I’m in a full body cast, which my friends so lovingly covered with penis doodles. Needless to say, my yearbook photo this year is going to be an instant classic.

This is some Ring home security cam footage of an Amazon delivery driver attempting to deliver a package to a gated home when a large bear pops up to say hello from behind a brick fence, presumably to inspect the package for honey. Per the homeowner through the Ring doorbell speaker: “Stop, stop, stop right now dude, there’s a bear right there! There is a bear right there! That’s a bear — back away. Go back to your car, that’s fine.” It’s not fine with this delivery driver though, who appears to pull something out of his pocket and put his hands over his head to seem larger than the bear, which proves effective in scaring the bear down the street to somebody else’s house. “Thank God I already did those deliveries,” I imagine the driver thinking to himself. And, as one video commenter had to say: ‘Getting written up by Amazon must be worse than being eaten by a bear!!’ Wow. Sad, but true. I mean Jeff Bezos’s lunar cheese mine isn’t exactly going to pay for itself, now is it? I mean, sure, it will once it starts shipping moon cheese back down here to earth, but you know what I mean.