This is a video from Vanity Fair (I read every issue from cover to cover) of actor Jeff Goldblum reviewing impressions of himself, including those by (in order) David Duchovny, Matt Friend, Bryan Cranston, Justin Ripple, and Tom Hiddleston. Honestly, I thought Justin Ripple’s might have been the best. The real Jeff Goldblum though — what a character! And what a stud in Jurassic Park. Did I tell you I commissioned a painting of him lounging shirtless from the scene in the movie (this one)? Because I did. Well, actually my girlfriend did, I just say I did because otherwise it’s weird to have on the ceiling above the bed.

Thanks to Jessica E, who agrees nobody knows chaos theory quite like Dr. Ian Malcolm.

This is a 3D visualization created by Youtuber Jared Owen exploring the Statue Of Liberty. The video includes, in this order with timestamps: 0:00-Intro, 0:24-Geography, 1:37-History and Facts, 2:44-Construction, 5:31-Renovations, 5:48-Tour Outside, 7:17-Tour Inside Pedestal, 8:40-Tour Inside Statue. The tours at the end were the most exciting part though. Of course while this was fascinating and all, what everybody really came hoping to see is what kind of underwear Lady Liberty is wearing, because that’s just the sort of country full of degenerate perverts we are. My guess is something cheeky that shows a little bottom butt!

This is a video of WSAZ 3 reporter Tori Yorgey reporting from Dunbar, West Virginia about the inclement weather and a water main break when she’s casually hit by a car, and keeps going. Clearly she went to The Show Must Go On School Of Journalism. Now that is professionalism. Per Tori: “I just got hit by a car but I’m okay, Tim.” To which news anchor Tim Irr back in the studio responds, “Well, that’s a first for you on TV, Tori.” She then goes on to say how sweet the lady who hit her was, and that her whole life just flashed before her eyes. Again, Tim Irr back in the studio: “Eh, that can happen.” My God, I can see why they hired this man. It’s his insight.

Keep going for the worthwhile “I actually got hit by a car in college too just like that.”

Because there’s a market for absolutely everything (no matter how small), this is a borosilicate Pyrex glass wine decanter in the form of a motorcycle. Handblown in Hungary, the $150 vinocycle measures 14-inches long and holds 500mL of wine, or 2/3rds of a standard bottle. Come on, it doesn’t even hold a whole bottle? Also, it looks like a real hassle to get all the wine out of. And if there’s one thing you don’t want when you’re drinking, it’s a hassle. Now I’m not sure how many people out there are looking at this decantercycle and thinking to themselves they must have it, but I want every one of them to invite me over so I can see what the interior of their homes look like. My guess is a cross between gaudy Italian and a circus that exploded. Trust me, I know the type. Because I am the type. IT’S NOT A BONG, MA, IT’S FOR WINE.

This is a very clever video from Jessa of Hyperbolium of a MIDI player performing a piano medley of each US state’s shape as roughly drawn in a visual MIDI player. All the states sound so good you almost forget they’re nine-tenths filled with people you can’t stand. Just for reference, all the states are played in alphabetical order, so if you’re looking for a particular state, you do the math. Or alphabet. Whatever, I failed all school subjects. So — which state’s song was your favorite? “I didn’t watch them all.” Me neither!

This is a video of several crash tests being conducted, pitting older model cars versus newer ones. Some more info while I remember to tape my bumper back on before my next state inspection. It’s all a racket!

Unfortunately, as a vehicle ages, a number of factors come into play that reduce the automobiles safety, aside from mechanical wear and tear. According to statistics, a driver is 10 times as likely to suffer fatal injuries in a collision while operating a 30-year-old vehicle versus a late model. The auto industry is continually working to improve the safety of current mechanisms, as well as developing and testing new ideas for safer vehicles. Developments in driving technology and new types of airbags have been prevalent just this year.

I learned a lot by watching the video. Mostly, that new cars are designed to crumple and absorb as much energy as possible to prevent damage to the passenger compartment, and old cars were designed to crumple right into all your vital organs. The more you know.