This is a short slow motion video of a San Luis Obispo, California high school basketball player attempting to dunk over the heads of four young fans lined up in front of the basket. Unfortunately, he makes contact with the first kid and things quickly spiral downhill for him from there, dropping the ball and kicking the last kid in the head as well. You know, they really should have gone with four kids all the same height as the shorter two kids in the middle. But just remember: even failure is a learning experience. It just sucks to fail in front of your whole high school with everyone recording. Reminds me of my senior year talent show performance. I did magic tricks. “What happened?” Well, my finale was supposed to be levitation, but I ended up going with an unexpected fart and falling off the stage in a panic instead.

Note: Some colorful, albeit appropriate language following the explosion.

This is some dashcam footage of a couple driving along in Beaumont, California when an entire manhole and concrete surround are briefly blasted up out of the road in the lane next to them. You can see a couple pipes by the side of the road also blow their tops in unison. What caused the incident? Allegedly a gas buildup ignited by an electrical discharge. My guess is Michelangelo was so high he left the gas running without actually lighting the oven, then when he realized the pizza wasn’t cooking he hit the ignite button and KA-BOOM, the sewer rats are eating burnt pizza and turtle soup tonight.

This is a video of Detroit Red Wings center Dylan Larkin accidentally knocking over a fan’s beer during practice, feeling absolutely terrible about it, and having $20 sent to him to get another. Sure I’d argue this was more than half the fan’s fault for resting his beer on the board against the glass, so he’s lucky Dylan is such a nice guy. By the way, Dylan, I wasn’t going to say anything, but you did knock over and shatter my Ming vase during your recent win against the Islanders.

This is a video of Māori (the indigenous Polynesian people of New Zealand) weather reporter Oriini Tipene-Leach smoothly pronouncing Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu, which, at 85-letters, is the longest named place in the world. It’s a hill in southern Hawke’s Bay, New Zealand, and its name translates to “The summit where Tamatea, the man with the big knees, the slider, climber of mountains, the land-swallower who travelled about, played his kōauau to his loved one.” There are also 92 and 105-letter versions of the name, but most people just call it Taumata because they’re into the whole brevity thing. She goes on to attempt prounouncing the second longest named place (the 58-lettered Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch in Wales), but can’t quite get it. Did I mention the first one kinda sounds like it has a cuss word in the beginning? Because it does. Or maybe you just hear what you want to. Yes, I am the world’s greatest lover. “I called you a simpleton.” Stop flattering me! Also, ten bucks says whoever named this hill was in the sign making business and charges the government by the letter.

This is a video of Adam Hillman revealing an 8-bit Mario sprite by arranging M&Ms in a Mario-shaped pattern, then adding water so the candy’s colored coating bleeds into the water. How about that. I was so inspired I decided to do the same thing except instead of Mario I made a penis. It was fantastic! Now it appears my girlfriend has hidden all the M&Ms from me.

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This is a full concert video from 1989 of Nirvana opening for fellow Washington-based grunge rock band Tad at Fahrenheit in Issy-les-Moulineaux, France. This was after the release of Nirvana’s first studio album Bleach, but obviously prior to the band’s 1991 Nevermind and subsequent mainstream success. It also features Chad Channing on drums prior to Dave Grohl joining the band in 1990. Nirvana’s setlist with timestamps: “01:33 School 03:21 Scoff 07:55 Love Buzz 10:55 Floyd the Barber 13:23 Dive 17:26 Polly 20:00 Big Cheese 23:50 Spank Thru 26:50 About a Girl 29:26 Immodium (Breed) 33:18 Been a Son 35:38 Stain 38:27 Negative Creep 40:55 Blew.” Wow, that was a whole lot of head banging going on. I only wish I could have been there, although it certainly looks like no place for an 8-year-old.