Because you’re a tough dude and you totally rule nature, this is a clip of a man getting charged by a bull elk in Yellowstone National Park because he got too close trying to take a video. I like how he looks back at the giant elk like the elk is the lucky one and he didn’t almost require emergency surgery to have 4+ feet of antler removed from his new anuses. Per the person filming: ‘No matter how much information is supplied from the National Park Service, idiots still think they know better. Never come between a bull elk and his cows.’ Words of wisdom. Same goes for coming between me and the television when I’m playing video games. Just ask my ex-roommate. “He set me on fire!” Should have read the lease.

Because when it doubt, chase it and try to eat it, this is a video of a young American alligator chasing and repeatedly attacking a green laser pointer in the swamps of Hollywood, South Carolina. ‘This fairy tastes like swamp water!’ I imagine it thinking after every bite. Chasing laser pointers — who knew cats and alligators were so similar?! Now break out the gatornip and feather on a stick toy and let’s really get this swamp party started.

Because Florida is nothing if not its authentic self, this is a video of a resident transporting a new flatscreen television home in the backseat of his car with the rear driver’s side door fully open to accommodate the large box. To his credit though, he is driving on the shoulder so the door doesn’t stick out into the left lane. Regardless, he’s still just one wrong move away from that flatscreen getting modded into a very jagged curved screen.

Beer: it gets you drunk. And to celebrate the nation’s increased COVID-influenced drinking problem, this is a U.S. map created by topagency highlighting each state’s most popular beer. Did you know alcohol consumption in the United States has increased almost 8.9% since the pandemic? That’s true. And, according to the map, 23 out of the 48 continental United States (sorry Alaska and Hawaii!) are Budweiser fanatics. Obviously, I blame those frog commercials.

Keep going for a chart of each individual state’s top five beer choices.

Because dream it and you can achieve it, this is a video of a wingsuiter exiting a helicopter with a woman riding on his back. Unfortunately, I didn’t hear the lady making any airplane noises and pretending to fire missiles, which was a shame. I mean otherwise what was the point of this? Is he a fighter jet or not?!

This is a compilation of clips of Wrinkle the duck running the recent New York City Marathon. Did she win? SHE WON MY HEART, and that’s worth more than any medal in the whole wide world. “That’s debatable.” My girlfriend, ladies and gentlemen! She gave me a purple ‘participant’ ribbon instead of a ‘World’s Greatest Boyfriend’ mug for Valentine’s last year.