Because the internet can be both alive with of wonder and a clogged public toilet simultaneously just like Schrödinger’s cat, this is ‘The Pictures Of Fat Dogs Metal Song’ created by musician Frazee Wooster. It’s a heavy metal song about chonky dogs. My dogs? My dogs are neither overweight nor underweight — they’re just the right weight because I take very good care of them. Of course they’ll probably tell you I starve them because they want to eat more. Then when I do give them extra treats they just fart up the bed all night and make me have drowning dreams, which are the worst.