Cars: sometimes they wish they were boats. Especially when you accidentally drive them into a river because, “I was just following the GPS.” If I had a new car for every time my girlfriend drove the old one into a river because she was just following the GPS, I wouldn’t be taking the bus to work. I’m joking, that never happened. She thought she knew a shortcut.

This is a video of the world’s largest amphibious car meetup (there were 70 vehicles present), held in Kladow Harbor in Berlin. But did anybody sink, and, more importantly, were there any mermaid or pirate treasure sightings on their way down? So going forward are we going to call car-boats coats or bars? “Amphibious cars.” But it’s so loooong. Plus a lot of people probably don’t even know what amphibious means. I think it means you make love like a salamander. “How do salamanders make love?” Not when I’m watching, unfortunately.

Video below, all the cars cruising together starts around 6:40.

Because there comes a time in a pumpkin’s life when they’re convinced they’ve outgrown the patch and decide to move to the big city, only to return years later when a parent starts rotting in the field and re-fall in love with a Jill-O-Lantern they knew in high school and move back to take over the family corn maze and cider stand (Hallmark, hire me), this is a video of a giant inflatable pumpkin blowing down the street in North Carolina. I asked the one girl I know who lives in North Carolina and is big into Halloween if this was hers, but she said it wasn’t. I know it was, but I wouldn’t admit to it either.

Keep going for the video (the pumpkin actually escaped from Phillips Farms in Cary, NC), while I AI someone dressed up as Indiana Jones x the Headless Horseman running from it.

Thanks to JustA, the most magical witch of all time.

Is bigger always better? Depends on the situation, but for bringing a portable gaming system on a flight, generally not. But did that stop Instagram users whats_paige_making. and nickbuildstuff from constructing this 5-foot working replica of a Pokemon Special Edition Game Boy Color? Nope. A lot of things would have stopped me. Namely, motivation and building skill. The final result does look glorious though. It also looks like a lot of arm work to play. And you know how I feel about moving my arms. “The less the better.” If they aren’t wings I can use to fly I ain’t flapping them. “What’s your doctor think of that?” He just shakes his head sadly when I ask him to undress me.

Keep going for a video demo, as well as some of the construction. More details and videos on Paige’s Instagram here.

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It’s hard for people to take your outer space talk seriously unless you include some sort of math for nerd cred. In this case, percentages. This is a supercut created by Youtube channel Picard Looking over the course of 50% of a year that includes every clip from Star Trek: The Next Generation in which a character mentions a percentage, in order from smallest to largest (a thousandth of a percent to 1,500%). There’s a 98% chance you will be tired of it before you make it to the end. Not unlike– “Your lovemaking.” Okay I was going to say this article, but I really hope you know someone who needs marrow, because that cut to the bone. What did I ever do to you?

Because who hasn’t dreamed of licking their Taste-O-Vision screen to savor the flavor of their favorite animated nuclear power plant worker — pastry chef and chocolatier Amaury Guichon (previously) went and constructed a life-size Homer Simpson entirely out of chocolate. Save his nose and hair for me. I couldn’t find any details on how many total pounds of chocolate were used, but I wonder how many people it would take to comfortably finish Homer in a day. I know some serious eaters, so if I could choose my eating companions I think just three of us. Four to be safe. Five and we’d be showing the waiter at dinner pictures of who we ate for lunch.

Just to be clear, I’m not asking you to Google ‘Japan makes a real conveyor belt keyboard,’ but you probably already knew that. You’re a smart cookie. I’m a dull biscuit. *nibbling finger* I’m for dogs, aren’t I? Google Japan, which makes a newly redesigned keyboard every year, has unveiled this year’s GBoard, one that operates with its keys constantly moving on columns of conveyor belts (four columns of 29 keys each). I don’t think anybody is going to set a new typing record with it (or play a winning game of Counter-Strike). It might be good for hunt-and-peck style typers though. ‘Oh, there goes the key I needed! I’ll just catch on the next go-round. Damn, missed it again.’ Using this I estimate I’d be good for writing about one email a day — it would have to be a short one though. LRNING NEW KYBORD PLZ DNT FIRE ME

If you’re interested in building your own (and who isn’t?), Google Japan has provided all the design files necessary over on GitHub.

Thanks to my dad, who’s currently on vacation at my house and we are all having a great time.