In an example of what I’m sure happens countless times a day, this is some doorbell cam footage of a woman racing to the front door to get inside and pee, but tripping and wiping out on the front porch. I’m impressed with just how far past the front door she traveled. Based on her trajectory you’d never even have guessed she was even aiming for the front door, but had committed to peeing on the side of the porch, which I’ve done before when I couldn’t get my key in the keyhole. And not because I was too drunk to see straight, but because it was my neighbor’s house. He made me pressure wash the whole porch the next day, but I was too hungover to do a good job.

This is a video of tennis player Daria Kasatkina performing a smooth-as-silk between the legs shot for a point during a recent French Open match, undoubtedly demoralizing her opponent Markéta Vondroušová enough to secure a second round victory. Damn, that has to sting. Like how I imagine my nieces and nephews must feel when I dunk on them with the rim lowered yelling BOOM SHAQ ATTACKA!

This is some footage from the remote operated submersible Hercules captured while exploring Kingman Reef in the Central Pacific of an octopus of the subfamily Bolitaeninae that looks like a red balloon. The only thing missing is Pennywise holding it on a string and trying to convince me to hang out with him in the sewers. *shivers* Like the oceans weren’t already scary enough.

These are a few videos from Instagram user plarailman, who has a very eccentric hobby. That hobby being adding legs and moving arms to Thomas The Tank Engine toys and having them interact and rub on each other. Is it erotic? I suppose that depends on how you feel about humanoid Thomas The Tank Engine toys getting freaky. I’m kidding, of course it is. I probably shouldn’t even be watching this at work but I can’t stop.

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Seen here passing cars like they’re standing still, this is a video from Youtube channel Automann-TV of a driver taking a 1,913HP Rimac Nevera electric supercar on the German Autobahn to test its acceleration from 100km/h to 200km/h (62MPH – 124MPH). It impressively doubles its speed in just 3 seconds on even its slowest attempt. So, if you were looking for a vehicle to die in going entirely too fast, this is certainly a contender. Alternatively: any homemade rocketcar.

Because who has time to watch a series in its entirety, this is 3 seconds from every episode of Breaking Bad. It cuts the series down from 60 hours to just 3 minutes. Granted it’s hard to follow what’s going on, but still, think of all the time I saved from watching the whole series over again. I mean I’ve already spent 180 hours of my life watching it, I can’t go spending another 60. Or can I? Go pop some popcorn.