Morning Ritual Rube Goldberg Machine Gets You Out Of Bed, Face Washed, Dressed, And Fed
Making things more complicated than they need to be: it’s human nature. Or at least my human nature. “You’re barely human.” Or natural. This is a video of Joseph of Joseph’s Machines building and demonstrating (in front of a live audience!) a Rube Goldberg machine that (with minimal effort on his part, but still more effort than should be required from a Rube Goldberg machine) gets him out of bed, washes his face, dresses him, then feeds him a banana, a breakfast sandwich, and a bowl of cereal. Or, rather, dunks his face into a bowl of cereal. Now I’ll be the first to admit I’m terrible at building Rube Goldberg machines (I’ve never made one that didn’t end waiting for first responders), but the face washing step probably should have come after that one. That’s like washing your hands before going to the bathroom, but not after. Most men don’t do either though, which is why I don’t shake hands or fist bump anymore, only wink.
Horse Plays Harp, Is Recording Album With Human Caretaker
Because it’s hard to complain about a bandmate that only wants to be paid in carrots, this is a video of rescue horse Yupia (who already has the hair of an emo frontman) playing the harp with caretaker Mikayla Theone Khramov, who’s using some of Yupia’s samples for an upcoming album. Am I going to make my mom drive me to the mall so I can buy the CD the day it comes out? No, what is this, the 90’s? I wish it was, AI will probably just download it into my brain. In the videos it appears Yupia genuinely does enjoy playing the harp, but there’s also the very real possibility he’s just scratching himself. I know this because 9/10ths of the time I think my girlfriend is loving on me she’s really just scratching something. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll take what I can get, but it doesn’t feel great. Especially if it’s one of those pointy-ass elbows. They could cut glass!
Some bonus accordion action included below, but he also dabbles in guitar and banjo. More videos on Mikayla’s Instagram page.
Terrifying Crawling Girl Halloween Decoration Made With Humanoid Robot
Because you can never go too far with Halloween decorations (don’t quote me on that), this is a video from Logan Olson of a creepy crawling girl made using a Unitree G1 humanoid robot, which were upgraded with a crawl mode last year. The way it instantly drops down to all fours is wild (and terrifying). G1 robots start at $13,500 though, so I’ll be making a paper mache witch head instead.
Jeans Made Of All Pockets Has 41 Functional Pockets
Because when it comes to hard drives and jeans you can never have enough storage, this is a video of fashion designer Cory Infinite’s ‘Infinite Pocket Jeans’. Despite the name, the pockets are actually finite, and total 41. That is a far cry from infinite, but also a far cry from the five measly pockets my jeans have. Mine do have a lot of extra holes though, I just can’t put anything in them without it falling down my pant leg. Has anybody seen a roll of singles? The Infinite Pocket Jeans consist of 14 front pockets, 7 front change pockets, 2 side pockets, and 18 rear pockets, and Cory demonstrates their carrying capacity in the video. They can fit a lot of stuff. Probably great for shoplifting. Also probably great for forgetting what pocket your wallet is in. *frantically rummaging through pockets at checkout as customers behind me grow restless* Well if I could just find my phone I could check my pocket spreadsheet!
Crab Wearing An Anemone As A Backpack
If there was ever a freaky deaky contest (and there may be — I tend to stick to the shallows of the internet), Mother Nature would win hands down. And she wouldn’t even show up to claim her prize, she’d be too preoccupied pushing the freaky deaky envelope out in the wild. Case in point: these videos of a deep sea crap wearing an anemone as a backpack. “I think you meant crab.” So I did — good catch.
“In addition to their long, thin walking legs, Homolidae crabs (also known as “porter crabs”) have modified rear appendages they use to pick up anemones and other things on the seafloor. Scientists speculate that this behavior could be related to physical camouflage, chemical camouflage, or predator defense.”
So the crabs use their custom modified appendages (thanks evolution!) to pick up and carry around anemones. But what are the anemones getting out of it? Is this relationship entirely one-sided? I have so many questions, but you know Mother Nature isn’t going to answer because she’s too busy stuffing spiders into frog butts or something.
‘Cacophony’ Marble Maze Designed Specifically To Make A Bunch Of Noise
Marble mazes: I used to love making them as a kid. I probably still would, but who has the time for fun? My Playstation controller doesn’t even hold a charge between the times I’m able to play. This is a video demonstration of the ‘Cacophany’ marble maze constructed by Jelle’s Marble Runs over the course of 278 hours. It has hoppers to run either 200 or 1,000 marbles and was designed specifically to make a bunch of noise as marbles travel along its track and includes “128 bells and chimes, but also a large number of drums, funnels, springs, nails, wooden sticks and more.” It was an enjoyable watch. My across-the-street neighbor leaving for work with his coffee on top of his car? Also enjoyable, because he’s a jerk. If he didn’t let his dog poop in my yard when he thinks I’m not looking (I’m always looking) I might have said something. Well, if I’d had any clothes on, which I didn’t, and still don’t. *shrug* It’s a slow morning. “It’s 2PM.” Sure, but it’s 8AM in Honolulu. “And are you in Honolulu?” Only in the fake vacation album I made with AI to brag about on Instagram. “This is a photo of you swimming with mermaids.” You should have been there, it was once in a lifetime!
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