Because who hasn’t dreamed of licking their Taste-O-Vision screen to savor the flavor of their favorite animated nuclear power plant worker — pastry chef and chocolatier Amaury Guichon (previously) went and constructed a life-size Homer Simpson entirely out of chocolate. Save his nose and hair for me. I couldn’t find any details on how many total pounds of chocolate were used, but I wonder how many people it would take to comfortably finish Homer in a day. I know some serious eaters, so if I could choose my eating companions I think just three of us. Four to be safe. Five and we’d be showing the waiter at dinner pictures of who we ate for lunch.

Just to be clear, I’m not asking you to Google ‘Japan makes a real conveyor belt keyboard,’ but you probably already knew that. You’re a smart cookie. I’m a dumb biscuit. *nibbling finger* I’m for dogs, aren’t I? Google Japan, which makes a newly redesigned keyboard every year, has unveiled this year’s GBoard, one that operates with its keys constantly moving on columns of conveyor belts (four columns of 29 keys each). I don’t think anybody is going to set a new typing record with it (or play a winning game of Counter-Strike). It might be good for hunt-and-peck style typers though. ‘Oh, there goes the key I needed! I’ll just catch on the next go-round. Damn, missed it again.’ Using this I estimate I’d be good for writing about one email a day — it would have to be a short one though. LRNING NEW KYBORD PLZ DNT FIRE ME

If you’re interested in building your own (and who isn’t?), Google Japan has provided all the design files necessary over on GitHub.

Thanks to my dad, who’s currently on vacation at my house and we are all having a great time.

Faced with an aging population of older gen humanoids (future problems), US robotics manufacturer Figure decided to have several of its F.02 robots dive into a 75-ton vat of molten steel to decommission them, Terminator style (one lowered on a chain even gives a thumbs-up, just like in the movie). After finding a steel plant in Finland willing to allow the lithium-ion batteried humanoids to leap into a steel vat (none in the US or Mexico would allow it), Figure made this video, complete with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Get to the choppa! “That’s from Predator.” Whatever.

Decommissioning a fleet of robots full of custom-built actuators and other intellectual property is no easy task. We needed to dispose of the robots in a way that protected our proprietary hardware. Disassembling each robot would take our technical staff so much time that it would delay the launch of F.04.

So we asked the internet: what should we do? The resounding answer came from an unlikely source: Arnold Schwarzenegger, who told us to melt them. We reached out to Arnold, and when he said he wanted to be involved, we put everything in motion.

Was this all a gigantic publicity stunt from start to finish? Probably. Is it the most responsible way to decommission old robots? Almost certainly not. Has everybody been waiting to see an actual robot dive into a vat of molten steel ever since Terminator 2 came out? There’s no question. *crosses off bucket list, reviews rest of list* Okay, do we have any credible mermaid sightings?

Making things more complicated than they need to be: it’s human nature. Or at least my human nature. “You’re barely human.” Or natural. This is a video of Joseph of Joseph’s Machines building and demonstrating (in front of a live audience!) a Rube Goldberg machine that (with minimal effort on his part, but still more effort than should be required from a Rube Goldberg machine) gets him out of bed, washes his face, dresses him, then feeds him a banana, a breakfast sandwich, and a bowl of cereal. Or, rather, dunks his face into a bowl of cereal. Now I’ll be the first to admit I’m terrible at building Rube Goldberg machines (I’ve never made one that didn’t end waiting for first responders), but the face washing step probably should have come after that one. That’s like washing your hands before going to the bathroom, but not after. Most men don’t do either though, which is why I don’t shake hands or fist bump anymore, only wink.

Because it’s hard to complain about a bandmate that only wants to be paid in carrots, this is a video of rescue horse Yupia (who already has the hair of an emo frontman) playing the harp with caretaker Mikayla Theone Khramov, who’s using some of Yupia’s samples for an upcoming album. Am I going to make my mom drive me to the mall so I can buy the CD the day it comes out? No, what is this, the 90’s? I wish it was, AI will probably just download it into my brain. In the videos it appears Yupia genuinely does enjoy playing the harp, but there’s also the very real possibility he’s just scratching himself. I know this because 9/10ths of the time I think my girlfriend is loving on me she’s really just scratching something. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll take what I can get, but it doesn’t feel great. Especially if it’s one of those pointy-ass elbows. They could cut glass!

Some bonus accordion action included below, but he also dabbles in guitar and banjo. More videos on Mikayla’s Instagram page.

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Because you can never go too far with Halloween decorations (don’t quote me on that), this is a video from Logan Olson of a creepy crawling girl made using a Unitree G1 humanoid robot, which were upgraded with a crawl mode last year. The way it instantly drops down to all fours is wild (and terrifying). G1 robots start at $13,500 though, so I’ll be making a paper mache witch head instead.

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