Following last week’s robotic crash and burn that made us all feel a little more comfortable with the state of robotics, that comfort was quickly dashed(!) when a competitor in the 2026 World Humanoid Robot Games beat Usain Bolt’s 100m sprint time. Usain set the human world record in 2009 with a time of 9.58 seconds, and the robots have set a time of 9.39 seconds. So now even the fastest man in the world has to worry about outrunning the robots. Of course everybody else should have been worrying already because they’ve had robots that can outrun the average American for a while now. Did you know 3 out of 5 Americans can’t even walk fast? I just made that up but based on my own observations there’s no way it isn’t true. Also: 2 out of 3 think a turn signal’s only purpose is to make clicky sounds inside the cabin, and nobody wants to hear that.