Now walk the dog! "This isn't a yo-yo." I SAID WALK IT.
Ultra Impressive Diabolo Baton Juggling Routine

This is a video of man who I assume is a cyberpunk circus performer demonstrating his very impressive diabolo routine, which involves juggling the batons the string is attached to while the axle spins on it. That looks like some grade-A sorcery right there. Now I don’t know the first thing about fisics (including spelling), but I’m pretty sure he’s breaking natural laws. Me? I only break UNNATURAL LAWS. Laws like being drunk in public. But if I’m drunk at home and nobody is around to see, am I even drunk? That table might have broken itself — that could be somebody else’s blood! God…I hope that’s not somebody else’s blood.