An insult to pastry chefs the world over, the Bakon Cake Decorator (officially the Bakon Piston Depositor with Cake Decorating Option) can spread the icing on layered cakes with enough precious and evenness to presumably avoid any 1-star Yelp reviews. That’s cool, but I prefer my cakes iced the old fashioned way: by a sweet old grandmotherly lady at the bakery. And if it happens to have a few gray hairs in it, what’s the big deal? I eat off the floor at home with zero regard for the 5-second rule. With the amount of dog hair I eat in a month you could probably make a sweater.

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