This is a cockpit POV video of a plane losing engine power at 600-feet and having to make a crash landing in a nearby cornfield. This is why I don’t like flying — engines fail, and things go wrong. I mean we’re not birds, flying is unnatural. If God intended us to travel by air, we’d all have been born with jetpacks, right? Were you born with a jetpack? Because I certainly wasn’t. No, at least from what I could gather by the equipment I was born with, God imagined us all swinging from tree to tree by our penises.

Thanks to my dad, who actually used to have his pilot’s license and own plane back in the day like a genuine crazy person.