Nut punch in 3...2...
Risking It All To Get Your Knots Out: Industrial Robotic Arm Massage System

This is a video demonstration of France-based Capsix Robotics’ i&Bot robotic arm massage system, which uses a camera and sensor array to be able to provide a hands-free full body massage to a human client. Allegedly, “as it applies pressure, it follows guidelines which were provided by professional physiotherapists to ensure proper massage techniques are used.” Is that true? I have no clue, but how is a person supposed to tell it to specifically work on the knot in their upper back? Nice try, but I think it’s obvious this thing was designed by Skynet to lull people with back pain into a false sense of security before pounding them to death like my uncle trying to tenderize a cheap steak. It goes without saying all endings will be of the very unhappiest variety.