This is a video of everybody’s favorite foul-mouthed football captain turned coach Roy Kent (actor Brett Goldstein) hanging out with Elmo and Grover on Sesame Street, and playing a game of hide-and-seek. It looks like it was a good, wholesome time. And with far less cursing than I’m used to hearing come out of Roy’s mouth. If he didn’t make it as a footballer, he would have made one hell of a sailor, that’s for sure.

This is a satisfying video of a man constructing a perfect cube out of sticks of staples. That’s fun. So, if you’re wondering why I just raided the office supply closet, it wasn’t just to grab enough toilet paper to TP somebody’s house tonight, but my neighbors have had it coming. I feel like the TP will make all the Christmas lights really pop.

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Thanks to my dad, who agrees being able to entertain yourself at the office instead of working is an important skill to have.

This is a highlight reel from Florence based fashion house AVAVAV’s ‘Disaster’ themed Fall/Winter 2023 fashion show during Milan Fashion Week, in which all the clothes rip, break, or otherwise fall off the models wearing them. Ha, this happens to me all the time! And my girlfriend accuses me of not being fashionable. There’s also a SURPRISE ending. Not as good as The Sixth Sense, but I imagine pretty decent as far as fashion shows go.

This is a video of dreamer and Youtuber Everything Is Hacked turning his body position into keyboard letter inputs, effectively making his entire body a keyboard. After much trial and error trying to make practical body positions, he discovered flag semaphore (an alphabetic system created using two signal flags held at different arm positions to indicate letters and numbers), and based his system on those. That’s cool. Also, pretty tiring to write a whole email. I’ll just stick to voice commands and talk to text like I’ve been using to write these articles for years now. Put up out of office away message, Google tasteful nudes. New search, moderately tasteful nudes.

This is a video of Klangphonics performing a techno song without a sequencer, but WITH a power washer and megaphone. It’s actually a fairly decent song too, as least as far as songs made with pressure washers go. Give me a power washer and a megaphone, and I can do anything — that’s what I told the hiring manager at my last interview. I did not get the job, but I did get a handful of candy from the bowl on their desk on my way out.

This is a video of a baby so filled with the holy spirit during its baptism that it tries to walk on water and ends up faceplanting in the stone baptismal font. The font is what that little pool is called — I just learned that. Me? I was baptized IN FIRE. A dumpster fire specifically. “It all makes sense now.” Does it? Because I’d like for you to explain it to me.

Thanks to my dad, who agrees Michael Phelps that baby is not.