This is a video of a baby so filled with the holy spirit during its baptism that it tries to walk on water and ends up faceplanting in the stone baptismal font. The font is what that little pool is called — I just learned that. Me? I was baptized IN FIRE. A dumpster fire specifically. “It all makes sense now.” Does it? Because I’d like for you to explain it to me.

Thanks to my dad, who agrees Michael Phelps that baby is not.