This is a video of former Nirvana drummer and current Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl performing with his band Mission Impossible all the way back in 1985. He was 16 at the time, and clearly already had the skills to pay the bills. Or at least to buy snacks and soda after school. I remember when I was 16 I had very few skills, and I regret to inform myself not much has changed since.

This is some rare drone footage of a North Atlantic right whale nursing and bonding with its calf in the waters of Cape Cod Bay. Now I don’t know about you, but it still boggles my mind that whales have nipples. Granted they’re not traditional external nipples but enclosed in mammary slits that only expose the nip when the calf stimulates the area via nudging so it can nurse. Still, mind-blowing. Also, how big are we talking? Like dinner plates or old satellite dishes?

This is a video of a hooper smoothly spinning eight hula hoops on all of her extremities: two on her extended foot, one on each of her upper arms, and two on each of her wrists, all without them colliding and ruining the peformance. Impressive! Now she just needs to learn how to levitate so she can spin some on her other leg too, and wait for Cirque du Soleil’s call. Me? I only learned how to hula hoop a few years ago, and I’m lucky to even keep one hoop off the ground. Same goes for my pants. I need a belt. I keep asking for one for Christmas, but nooooo, just more socks. I don’t even wear socks and my shoes always smell.

This is some helmetcam footage of skier Francis Zuber rescuing a snowboarder trapped in a tree well (aka a spruce trap — the area directly under an evergreen’s branches that doesn’t get as much snow as the surrounding area and creates a pit you can fall into and get buried) while skiing at Mt. Baker in Washington. Francis happened to see the snowboarder’s board sticking out of the snow (and ONLY the board), and quickly springs into action to dig his face out so he could breathe. That’s absolutely terrifying. Also, proof that not all heroes wear capes — apparently some wear skis and mustard colored snow jackets.

This is some security cam footage from a laundromat of a dryer spectacularly exploding in a fireball, narrowly missing a customer who just left the business with his clean whites. People are speculating what caused the explosion, suggesting everything from lint to a lighter in someone’s pocket to fart-soaked underwear. Of course I think the cause is much simpler: this is a sign from God I should do laundry less often, and, ideally, get somebody else to do it for me.

Check your pockets before doing laundry! pic.twitter.com/k4njSdwaLf

— QENNY Southsider (@AKBrews) April 2, 2023

This is a video of a skydiving instructor doing some downhill speedflying with a parachute (it appears more kite than parachute) when he crashes after performing a barrel roll and and is unable to recover. That is unfortunate, and I have the sneaking suspicion this is exactly what Peppy Hare from Starfox was hoping for every time he tried to peer pressure me into doing one.

Barrel roll and crash are at 0:55 if time is money and you’ve been robbed.