Because everybody’s dream is different, this is a video documenting Youtuber Electrosync’s quest to build the world’s fastest Roomba. For reference, a stock Roomba has a top speed of about 1.1MPH, but after the addition of some high performance motors and other R/C car electronics, Electrosync’s Roomba can hit 35MPH. Wow! Could you imagine if they all went that fast? You definitely wouldn’t see so many Youtube videos of cats riding them, that’s for sure.

Thanks to my dad, who agrees it’s only a matter of time until the Roomba Racing Circuit hits ESPN4.

This is a video created by Cut, who asked 100 people what their red flags are when dating. Red flags, as I’m sure everyone will agree, are one of the last flags you ever want to see, second only to my skull and crosspenis pirate flag. People’s answers are all over the place, but there are some real gems in the mix. Me? My main red flag is dead bodies. I’m…not very picky. Beggars can’t be choosers and all that.

Because a well aimed bow is mightier than the pen and sword combined (that’s just a pen-sword), this is a video of master archer Lars Andersen shooting seven consecutive arrows through a keyhole less than 10mm tall. He uses a historic style bow without nock point, arrow rest, or any other bells and whistles as well, doing it all OLDSCHOOL STYLE. Damn, that’s some serious skill. Maybe all those TV shows and movies showing knights taking arrows perfectly through the eyebals aren’t as inaccurate as I previously thought. Now I really regret not taking archery seriously when I was a Cub Scout. I could have been a master archer assassinator by now!

Note: If you’re looking for some bitchin’ desktop backgrounds you can get super high-res versions of the Hubble’s 1995 image HERE, 2004 image HERE, and James Webb’s most recent shot HERE. Now let’s play space rangers!

The Pillars of Creation, made famous by the Hubble Space Telescope’s 1995 and 2004 images (seen above) of three elephant trunks of interstellar gas and dust (where new stars are being born, hence the name) in the Eagle Nebula, was recently revisited by the James Webb Space telescope, and the image (seen below) is nothing if not awe-inspiring. It took my breath away. Sure that may have actually been the stairs, but the image is pretty stunning nonetheless. Although astronomers still should have named it the Space Zombie Hand, just for the record.

Designed, crafted, and sold by Etsy shop Leatherhead Laser Work (beware of knock-offs!), this Advent calendar features Hans Gruber falling from the top of Nakatomi Plaza, reaching the ground on Christmas Day. Available in wood and acrylic plastic models, prices range from around $46 to $55. Plus Hans is magnetic so he’s easy to move as December progresses. Or if you just want to speed his fall up like in the video below. Yippee-kiy-yay, motherf***er!

Because it’s spooky season, this is a video featuring scenes from the classic 1922 unauthorized adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula ‘Nosferatu’ that have been upscaled to 4K and colorized. Did you know that Stoker’s heirs sued after the film’s release and all copies of the film were ordered to be destroyed? Obviously that went well. Another fun fact: Nosferatu is the first media in which a vampire is actually killed by sunlight, previously they had only been made uncomfortable or hurt by light, but not mortally. So — does the upscaling and colorizing make the movie more or less scary? “Less scary, but way more erotic.” I couldn’t agree more. What do you say we put in some plastic fangs, dim the lights, and let whatever happens, happen?