In response to news host and comedian Tabitha Lipkin’s TikTok ‘News Anchor Challenge’ in which participants are asked to report on something mundane in life in their best news anchor voice, this is a video of fellow news anchor Kayla Marie Sullivan reporting on her son’s recent meltdown at an Olive Garden. I’d argue an Olive Garden meltdown isn’t the most mundane topic (I still have pieces of breadstick in my hair from my nephew’s last OG meltdown), but that’s beside the point. Kayla absolutely nails the delivery, and I can see clearly now why she’s a news anchor, and why I’m regularly told at television and radio job interviews that my face and voice are better suited for the internet.

Keep going for the video, complete with followup interview with the suspect.

@kaylareporting Now accepting donations for babysitters & or take out! Venmo: @Kayla-Sullivan-96 🤣 #NewsVoice #ToddlerMom #EveryKiss #newsvoice #YerAWizard #2022 ♬ original sound – Kayla Marie Sullivan

@kaylareporting Sorry, @heinz! #Inflation has me slippin’ #GreatValue #Ketchup #newsvoice #exclusive #interview #follow #2022 #fy #ToddlerMom #Series #funny #MomTok ♬ original sound – Kayla Marie Sullivan

Thanks to JustA, who agrees Kayla deserves her own show reporting on stories that didn’t make the cut for prime time news, like how the garbage men didn’t take all my garbage today for some reason.

This is a racing bar chart of the most popular memes of 2021, ranked by popularity per month as according to Know Your Meme pageviews. I also included the same style of bar chart they created for all memes from 2011 – 2020, divided into yearly quarters. I learned a lot by watching them. Mostly, that I’m unfamiliar with a lot of the latest memes, presumably because I’ve made a conscious effort to stop deep-diving to the bottom of the internet where these things exist because it was starting to affect my relationship. And not in the good way you’d expect quoting obscure internet memes during sex would be.

Because very occasionally wishes really do come true, the WiperTags store on Amazon is selling this Forrest Gump waving decal for rear wipers (affiliate link). It looks like Forrest waving to Lieutenant Dan from his boat, right before jumping overboard out of excitement. Classic Gump! I included the gif from the movie of Forrest waving for reference. Now — are you thinking what I’m thinking? “Buying three of these so you can put two on your front wipers as well?” Get out of my brain!

This is a video of the Guinness World Record holder for longest Hot Wheels track, a respectable 663.298m (2,176′ 2″) run constructed by the children of parents who work for Alfred Benesch & Co. as a STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics) learning experience in Foster Township, Pennsylvania. So, if you’re planning a road trip anytime soon, it would be foolish not to pass through Foster Township, Pennsylvania, record holder of the world’s longest Hot Wheels track. I mean, at least until we complete smoke these children’s record this summer (I’ve already started hoarding off-brand track pieces on eBay, which better count).

Because you should never not dare to experiment, this is a video of someone attempting to play a trumpet with its bell submerged in a bowlful of strawberry Jell-O. The result may surprise you. Or it may not. But it’ll definitely make you wish you were squishing Jell-O between your teeth right now. At least it did for me. Want to hear something crazy? One time my girlfriend made me laugh so hard I shot pudding out my nose! “That’s not that crazy.” But I hadn’t had any pudding. Dum dum dum! The maître d’ did ask us to leave when I tried doing it again though.

Thanks to JustA, who agrees if somebody doesn’t form a band that plays all its instruments in Jell-O after seeing this, it was all in vain.

This is some POV footage captured by a GoPro camera attached to a LEGO City Ocean Exploration Ship built and sent out to sea by the folks at Youtube channel Canvas 23 Studios to see how the ship fares in a real ocean environment. SPOILER: Not very well. So, the next time you’re considering shrinking yourself and taking to the high seas aboard a ship made of LEGO, think again. I mean, unless you want to leave this world the same way Rose murdered Jack at the end of Titanic.