This is a video of a Missouri man in flannel trying to saber the top off a champagne bottle with a bowie knife (I know, it sounds like just a bunch of unrelated words strung together), and doing it just about as poorly as possible. Honestly, I didn’t even know they sold champagne in Missouri. I mean what is there to celebrate? He must have imported it himself from a neighboring state. *looks at map of neighboring states Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, Arkansas* Okay maybe he ordered it online.

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