This is some home security cam footage of a wild turkey that started pecking at a welcome mat, and, after homeowner Tim was alerted of its presence by his Ring video doorbell, he uses the intercom to shoo the turkey away. Me? I would have invited it in, because I am friend to all animals. “Did you just start preheating the oven?” I’m…baking a cake. “That looks like stuffing.” DAMMIT I’M HUNGRY AND THIS GINGERBREAD HOUSE DOESN’T ATTRACT CHILDREN LIKE IT USED TO. “Um, what?” Nothing, nothing — that was just my stomach rumbling.

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