This is the helmet cam footage from cyclist Kilian Bron’s winning 2023 Mountain Of Hell bike run (he’s won the race three times previously as well). The 25km (15.5 mile) trail, which is pretty much the entirety of a mountain at Les Deux Alpes ski resort in France, features all sorts of terrain, including 100km/h (62MPH) snowy straightaways, rocky switchbacks, tree runs, and even some road portions. It is not the trail for me. If you need me, I’ll be on the bunny hill. Or, even better, at the lodge sipping hot chocolate and rum by a fire. Probably a dumpster fire, and just rum.

Piggybacking on the build of his bike with treaded square tires, this is a video of engineer The Q reducing the design to its bare minimum, producing a tireless bike that runs on thin treads that only make contact with the pavement at two points. That’s…something. Something I wish I’d had to ride when I was walking to school uphill both ways when I was a kid! “Let me guess — in the snow?” No — ACID RAIN. I still can’t grow hair on my arms.

This is a video from the helmet of pro mountain biker Juan Diego Salido as he blasts down an extreme, jump-filled trail built for the Darkfest 2023 biking competition in South Africa. I broke so many bones just watching it, and I’m sitting on the toilet! Just kidding, but my palms are sweaty and my legs did go numb though.

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Thanks to JustA, who agrees we should hit this trail on a tandem bike.

This is a video of a herd of baby Nigerian Dwarf goats at Sunflower Farm Creamery in Cumberland, Maine wearing sunflower rompers and romping around a barn. This is just what I needed to get my week started. Granted it will probably all be downhill from here, and by the end of the week I won’t even remember this little glimmer of unadulterated happiness, but right now I’m cherishing it. And, who knows, if all goes well maybe the world will end tomorrow.

These are a couple videos of people who have attached cordless drills to the player rods of foosball tables and play with the press of a trigger instead of the flick of a wrist. It’s basically just a giant spinning mess. I’m sorry, but I have no tolerance for spinners, I take my foosball very seriously. It’s a game of finesse — not unlike making love to a real person. Something spinners wouldn’t know anything about.

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Presumably busted mid home invasion, this is a video of a bear in Colorado Springs, Colorado attempting to make a hasty escape out a home’s second story window after entering on the ground floor and getting trapped upstairs after closing itself in a bedroom. “WTF! Goldilocks never have to do this,” I imagine it thinking to itself while dangling from the window. More details at 11:

“He…got inside and helped himself to my pork chops I had out for dinner that night, got some snacks out of the pantry and knocked over the plants — nothing too crazy,” said [homeowner] Ryan MacFarlane.

Hoho, pork chops — that’s definitely a step up from too hot porridge. Sure they were probably raw, but it’s a bear, they can eat raw food. If you or I ate a raw pork chop? A house fire that would put the one in the classic G.I. Joe PSA to shame.