Even though rich people’s exotic cars are at the very bottom of my list of things to to worry about during natural disasters, these are several photos and videos from Naples, Florida of a $2.3-million McLaren P1 that, along with its garage neighbor Rolls-Royce Phantom, succumbed to storm surges caused by Hurricane Ian and was swept away in the flooding. There’s a video from inside the garage when the flooding started, as well as one of the supercar being towed off the broken toilet where it finally came to rest. Funny, whenever someone is looking for me I can often be found on top of a toilet as well. Usually with numb legs and a bad attitude.

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Note: Check your volume, wind. Also a little appropriate cursing.

This is a video of a man filming some pelicans (first trip to the beach, huh?) when a dolphin decides there isn’t enough shit in the water already and races towards him like a shark during a feeding frenzy. That must have been exhilarating. One second you’re lazily filming pelicans, and a split-second later you think you’re about to be chum. You know, there’s just nothing like a near-death experience to make you truly appreciate living, and my friends should really be thanking me for the pranks I pull on them instead of never answering my texts again.

This is a video of a college football security guard standing too close to the University Of Tennessee Volunteers cheerleading squad at a football game and refusing to get out of the way when, SURPRISE, he’s part of the act. Of course even prior to knowing this you could probably sense something was up considering everyone involved acts about as convincing as cartoon characters.

@beachgalloway When the blue shirt man won’t get out of the way #VOLS ♬ original sound – Beach Galloway

This is a compilation of dashcam clips, along with the audio of the drivers near Ross Chastain as he pushed his car against the wall, took his hands off the wheel, and put the pedal to the metal to move from 10th to 4th place and into qualifying for the next round during the recent 2022 Xfinity 500. There’s also a clip of an interview with Chastain afterwards, in which he says he had lots of experience from playing NASCAR 2005 on the GameCube where this maneuver worked, so why not in real life? Yes, it worked in a video game, so why not try it IRL? And that’s exactly how I’m going to live the rest of my incredibly short life.

"I can't believe what I just saw." #NASCARPlayoffs pic.twitter.com/Eqw7tyodZF

— NASCAR (@NASCAR) November 1, 2022

"Played a lot of NASCAR 2005 on the GameCube."@RossChastain explained his video-game move. #NASCAR pic.twitter.com/4jkF6BzAgk

— NASCAR on NBC (@NASCARonNBC) October 30, 2022

This is a visualization imagining the International Space Station orbiting earth at 10,000-feet instead of 254 miles. For reference, most commercial flights cruise between 33,000 and 42,000 feet, so this is comparatively low. AND FAST. Around 17,150MPH (37,600km/h) fast. It really zooms. It’s crazy to think the astronauts up there in that thing aren’t just getting smashed against the walls and turned to jelly, but, FULL DISCLOSURE: the only thing I know about physics is it should start with an F. “Like your grades.” YES MOM, LIKE MY GRADES.

Built by Youtuber Wiz’s Woodwork, this mirrored coffee table gives the illusion of an endless mineshaft below, constructed using a cleverly designed infinity mirror. Pretty cool. Even cooler? An infinity gauntlet. And if I had one you better believe I’d be winning Powerball tonight. Plus probably try keeping the beat to a catchy jazz song and accidentally wiping out half the universe. There’s a steep learning curve to those gauntlets.