Because the human body is the finest machine ever crafted by the gods, this is a video of a member of the World Taekwondo Federation performing a 720° horizontal spinning kick quadruple board break. Most impressive. Could I do this? Maybe in a video game. Oh who am I kidding, I couldn’t even get Chun-Li to perform her inverted Spinning Bird Kick in Street Fighter II and would always get my ass handed to me. And in real life? Heck, I recently tried jumping up and clicking my heels together pretending I was the freeze-frame at the end of a vintage Mentos commercial and now I’m in a full body cast, which my friends so lovingly covered with penis doodles. Needless to say, my yearbook photo this year is going to be an instant classic.

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