From ruiner/occasional improver of songs There I Ruined It (previously), this is a video of Six Mix-A-Lot’s ‘Baby Got Back’ reimagined in the style of Simon & Garfunkel’s ‘The Sound Of Silence’ (with bonus Black Eyed Peas ‘My Humps’ at the end). Does it still deliver? Yes. UNLIKE MY FAVORITE PIZZA PLACE. WTF, Antonio — you know I don’t drive!

Seen here doing her best Fantastic Ms. Fox impression, this is a clip of Richmond Wildlife Center executive director Melissa Stanley nursing an orphaned baby fox while wearing a fox mask so that the animal feels safe and doesn’t imprint on humans. That way it can later be released back into the wild. Hey, whatever works. Per Melissa:

She is progressing well. It’s important to make sure that the orphans that are raised in captivity do not become imprinted upon or habituated to humans. To prevent that, we minimize human sounds, create visual barriers, reduce handling, reduce multiple transfers amongst different facilities, and wear masks for the species.

When I was young and raised by bears they did NOT wear human masks, which was probably for the best. Thankfully, I was still able to reintegrate into the human world once I wandered out of the forest. I did have to promise to only buy Charmin and use it to toilet paper Goldilocks’s house whenever I’m in the neighborhood though.

Happy Pi Day (3.14)! I’m going to have a berry cobbler for dessert tonight, which, while technically not pie, is my favorite and close enough, even if it is a rectangle. This is a video of some folks visually demonstrating pi using the pizza crust from one pizza and four other pizzas. As is deliciously shown in the video, pi is the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter, meaning a circle’s circumference is always 3.14 times its diameter, or could stretch across the diameter of 3.14 equally sized circles. You learn something new every day! And, is often the case for me, something I had previously learned but long forgotten. Geometry — what was that, 10th grade? I went to the homecoming dance stag and left stag, but with a bloody nose for trying to cut-in on a girl I had a crush on. “You got punched?!” No, I just get nervous nose bleeds. I never even worked up the guts to cut.

With Pi Day just around the corner, let’s remember what Pi is all about.

After washing your hands thoroughly, cut the crust off a pizza pie and lay it across four others. You’ll see that the crust spans a little more than 3 pies. That’s Pi ≈ 3.14.

But that’s not all! (Cont’d) pic.twitter.com/xTVbObrPzH

— Alex Kontorovich (@AlexKontorovich) March 6, 2020

This is a video of the Rockin’ 1000 performing Blur’s ‘Song 2’ in Paris. Do they do it justice? I don’t know, I feel like having ALL those instruments and voices performing simultaneously kind of washed the song out and left it without its original zest. Also, everybody looks really sweaty, and I spotted at least a few people on drugs. I’m looking at you, guy at 1:12 – 1:17! I’ll have what he’s having, which is hopefully plenty of water.

Keep going for the video, complete with over-the-top conductor, as well as the original for reference.

This is some footage from a manned research submarine investigating the life around a methane seep off the coast of Costa Rica when it encountered a new species (Pectinereis strickrotti) of deep sea worm, that appear to swim almost as if they’re magic carpets. Freaky! Per submarine pilot Bruce Strickrott, whom the new species was named after: “We saw two worms near each other about a sub’s length away swimming just off the bottom. We couldn’t see them well and tried to creep in for a closer look, but it’s hard to creep in a submarine and we spooked them.” So yeah, magic carpet worms, they exist. Still, I can’t help but feel that Princess Jasmine would have been far less smitten with Aladdin if he showed up riding one of these. WTF — your whole new world suuuucks. Rajah, attack!

Because ideas come in all shapes, sizes, and practicality (this one ranks incredibly low in practicality), this is a video of Drew Dirksen testing the pool float he made entirely out of red Solo cups, super glue, and packing tape. Does it float? Yes. Can it support a child? Yes. Can it support an adult with the mind of a child (read: Drew)? Just barely, and not without a lot of cups breaking. So, if you were wondering if you should build your own Solo cup pool float or just buy an inflatable on the way to your next pool party, the answer is clear: invite me to that party or I will crash it out of spite and poop in the shallow end.