This is a short clip from bartender cat_sevaress, who ordered delivery tacos (as hungry/drunk people are apt to do), and opened up her apartment door to discover a raccoon had ripped through the bottom of the bag and already begun taste-testing her tacos. I like the raccoon’s friends hanging out on the stairs. Let your buddy take the blame then swoop in for the leftovers — those are the smart raccoons. And even if she does scare you away with a broom, you know she isn’t going to eat those tacos for fear of raccooties, so you can just hang out by the apartment’s dumpster for a day or two and wait for them to show up again. It’s a win/win!

@cat_sevaress Bro raccoons run my apartment complex I can’t even #raccoon #raccoonsoftiktok #fyp ♬ Funny – Gold-Tiger

This is a full-length edit of The Wizard Of Oz cut by Matt Bucy so that every spoken word appears in alphabetical order, beginning with a ton of ‘a’s’ and ending with ‘zipper’, uttered by the Tin Man. Matt says the entire edit only took about 20 hours of work, which is crazy considering any sane person would have abandoned the project immediately after coming up with the idea. Do The Big Lebowski next!

The River Rock Doormat is a very real $90 product that exists for sale on Amazon (affiliate link, because I know you’re all going to buy one) and isn’t just a one-off made by a neighbor who considers themselves crafty and has access to a free Saturday afternoon and hot glue gun like you probably expected. The 25-pound mat (rocks are heavy) is available in four different colors (gneiss!) and is sure to bring that lake house vibe to your front porch. But what keeps the rocks in place? Silicone? Because I’ve got the feeling they’re going to become dislodged fairly easily. Especially the way I wipe my feet coming inside. I wipe my feet like I’m mad at the porch.

This is a clip of a man (who I swear I posted on Geekologie back in the day — glad to see he’s still at it) demonstrating his complete disregard for gravity by balancing a number of glass bottles on each other in precarious ways. He also does some blindfolded bottle balancing at the end of the video to prove that his balancing act doesn’t require vision. That’s…something. Something I could totally knock off the table with single baseball to win a big prize at the county fair! Can I get two prizes if a bottle hits him in the nuts?

This is a video of a Boston Dynamics ATLAS humanoid robot taking a break from unboxing and sorting shock absorbers to dance. The headless horseman of the apocalypse moves like it’s about to fall down at any second, but manages not to. Kind of like me when I’m drunk, except I do fall down. Now imagine instead of shock absorbers it’s loading a laser cannon with plasma munitions. Are you scared yet? Because you should be. I’m going to run for president on an ‘UNPLUG SKYNET’ platform. And I SHOULD win, but will likely only receive a single write-in vote from my mom.

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Because people are constantly coming up with new and exciting ways to stimulate the adrenal medulla, this is a video of people being blob-launched in a giant ball pit at some sort of trampoline park style amusement center. Admittedly, that does look like fun. I used to LOVE the ball pit at ShowBiz Pizza (Chuck E. Cheese) when I was growing up. I always used to swim down to the bottom and collect all the tokens other kids dropped down there. And, yes, as any other ball pit treasure hunter will attest you, I did uncover my fair share of turds.