This is a video of Jenny DuVander of Portland, Oregon having her tongue measured and being awarded the Guinness World Record for largest tongue circumference (female) in the world, with a massive 5.21″ clapper. Damn! The current male record is 6.3″, and must look like dude is choking on a raw meatball. No word what it’s like French-kissing someone with such a massive tongue, but if it’s anything like kissing me (according to my girlfriend), “Like suckin’ on a chili dog, both in texture AND taste.” Makes me wish I could kiss myself!

This is a video of the banjo strumming trio of Foggy Mountain Spaceship performing their take on the original Super Mario Bros. overworld and underworld themes. They do a fantastic job. Me? I would have butchered those songs, then smashed my banjo on stage and asked the nonexistent audience who wants me to sign their boobs.

This is a video captured aboard a Varda space capsule launched by SpaceX that’s reentering the earth’s atmosphere at around Mach 25, or around 17,500MPH. That’s fast. Varda developed the W1 capsule for companies that want to test or manufacture in space (in this case, drug manufacturing in zero-gravity). The capsules will be blasted into space by commercial flights, then returned to earth once the testing/manufacture is complete. Me? Everything I shoot into space I never want to see again. That’s why I aim everything right at the sun and yell “F**k You!” when I push the launch button.

Keep going for the video, which features some stunning orbital footage of our flat earth before atmospheric reentry begins around 2:00, and things really getting wild around 3:00.

Produced by the Mint Of Poland (Mennica Polska), the UFO MP-1766 is billed as the first “flying coin”, with the ability to levitate atop a special base. The coin actually has a tiny motor inside, which spins and allows it to hover thanks to the magnetic field generated by the base. That’s cool. The Mint Of Poland, which is actually a private company but mints the nation’s coins, had to collaborate with the Bank of Cameroon to produce the coin, since the company can’t just introduce Polish currency on its own without the government’s approval. The official denomination of the coin is 1,766 Cameroonian francs (~$3), but will sell for significantly more when the mint offers them for sale this spring. I must have one, whatever the cost. Will I find myself at rock bottom trying to use it to try to buy a lotto scratcher at the corner store? If my previously prized collection of $2 bills is any indication, it’s only a matter of time.

This is a 6-minute compilation of cats doing what they do best besides sleeping: being little jerks. There are a LOT of good clips in there. Some are of cats deliberately being jerks, while others are of cats unintentionally being jerks. I particularly enjoyed it when they broke things. As long as they’re not my things, I love a good lamp or potted plant smash, and always encourage friends’ cats to let loose whenever I’m visiting.

These are a couple videos from psychologist Edgar Ciancio, who attached the business end of a garden hose to the cone of a subwoofer to vibrate the water coming out in sync with the sound waves produced. Pretty cool, and I can’t wait to demonstrate this at my next BBQ and tell friends and family I came up with the idea myself. And why shouldn’t I? There’s no way any of them follow Edgar on TikTok or read this website. Plus mine’s going to be attached to a statue of a naked cherub peeing.

@edgarciancio885

Lanza de riego con efecto estroboscópico (segunda prueba) usando el tema Billy Jeans (rebajado de 27Hz en adelante)

♬ sonido original – Edgar Ciancio

@edgarciancio885

♬ sonido original – e b r