I'm in the wrong business.
Real Products That Exist: The River Rock Doormat

The River Rock Doormat is a very real $90 product that exists for sale on Amazon (affiliate link, because I know you’re all going to buy one) and isn’t just a one-off made by a neighbor who considers themselves crafty and has access to a free Saturday afternoon and hot glue gun like you probably expected. The 25-pound mat (rocks are heavy) is available in four different colors (gneiss!) and is sure to bring that lake house vibe to your front porch. But what keeps the rocks in place? Silicone? Because I’ve got the feeling they’re going to become dislodged fairly easily. Especially the way I wipe my feet coming inside. I wipe my feet like I’m mad at the porch.