As part of the 12th Annual PumpkinMania Festival at Transylvania University in Lexington, Kentucky, this is a video of hundreds of jack-o-lanterns (including one carved with a Chevrolet logo and ‘VROOM VROOM’) lining the steps of the historic Old Morrison administration building at the school. So, who else didn’t know there was a Transylvania University in Kentucky? Apparently it dates back to 1780 and was the first university in Kentucky. I just enrolled to becoming a vampire! I’m really nervous about this blood test on Friday.

In a piece of art certainly not imitating my life, this is a worthwhile video of French artist and dancer Yoann Bourgeois repeatedly falling off a set of stairs and bouncing right back up again. The whole performance is incredibly well orchestrated with such fluidity. And how towards the he keeps bouncing lower and lower and can’t get back up, but then starts bouncing higher and higher until he reaches the top of the stairs again — that — that’s a feeling I will never know. I’m not even bouncing anymore, just laying here waiting for life to finish me off.

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Dream it, and you can achieve it. Case in point: all my nightmares coming true. Or this video of musician Alan Gogoll performing 10,000 harmonics on acoustic guitar in under fifteen minutes. That’s impressive. Maybe not as impressive as my acoustic guitar playing skills, but I once invited a girl to my dorm room in college and she listened to me for almost five minutes before pretending to get a cell phone call and leaving. Suck it, John Mayer!

Spare time: apparently some people have buckets of it, because this is a video of Youtuber Cherokee Phil performing 31 different songs to the tune of the Gilligan’s Island theme. So that’s…something. Something I’m going to toy around with in the shower tonight! Sorry penis, I’m busy!

Did you know there’s a Guardians Of The Galaxy holiday special coming? I did not. But there is (featuring of all bacons, Kevin Bacon), and it’ll start streaming on Disney+ beginning November 25th. This is the trailer for that special. Do you think it’ll down in history like the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special? One can only hope. Fingers crossed they don’t burn Groot as a Yule log.

Seen here getting an eyeful of Lady Dimitrescu’s mutant boobs, this is a video edited by Youtuber eli_handle_b.wav featuring Kevin McCallister in Resident Evil Village. Is there some backstory? Sure, there’s some backstory: “After snarky youth Kevin McCallister loses track of his father at the airport, he mistakenly gets on a plane headed for Europe. Now alone in some Eastern European village, Kevin cons his way into Castle Dimitrescu and begins his usual antics.” That Kevin, I swear. I wonder how many people he’s killed by now. I mean you start murdering as young as he did and it’s a hard habit to break.