Because that’s what friends are for, this is a video of Nathan Pryor’s friend testing the chainsaw clarinet Nathan built him, which combines his two biggest passions: playing clarinet, and…chainsawing? Hey, different strokes for different folks, that’s my motto. My favorite stroke? The breaststroke. You know why? “Because it has boobs in the name?” What? No — because you look like a frog when you do it. You know you really need to get your head out of the gutter and– “In-between your boobs?” Haha, you got me! Permission to motorboat away!

Nobody’s gonna pick on the band kids any more!

I built my buddy a chainsaw clarinet, combining his two passions into one ridiculous multi-tool: the Clarisaw! Or would that be the Chaininet? pic.twitter.com/PQ0ibZiw7o

— Nathan Pryor (@nathanpryor) April 23, 2021

Sure Flex Tape might be able to Mickey Mouse a leaking pipe, but can it stop a wrecking ball dropped from 45 meters? This is a video of the-fun loving Aussies of Youtube channel How Ridiculous finding out. The answer may surprise you, especially if you didn’t have any faith in Flex Tape. It probably won’t surprise you after just reading that last sentence though. Unless I lied. I don’t lie though. I’m the world’s eighth greatest lover!

Keep going for the video, wrecking ball drop at 12:00.

Because Halloween is just a week away, what better way to celebrate than…uh, a jet-powered coffin car? Let’s roll with it. Built by Robert ‘Rocket Man’ Maddox (previously), he nicknamed the dead pirate themed pulsejet powered death trap ‘The Halloween Machine’. I want it. Plus if I crash and die they can just dig a hole and bury me in it — nothing left for my family to do but some spitting.

Because everybody’s dream is different, this is a video documenting Youtuber Electrosync’s quest to build the world’s fastest Roomba. For reference, a stock Roomba has a top speed of about 1.1MPH, but after the addition of some high performance motors and other R/C car electronics, Electrosync’s Roomba can hit 35MPH. Wow! Could you imagine if they all went that fast? You definitely wouldn’t see so many Youtube videos of cats riding them, that’s for sure.

Thanks to my dad, who agrees it’s only a matter of time until the Roomba Racing Circuit hits ESPN4.

This is a video created by Cut, who asked 100 people what their red flags are when dating. Red flags, as I’m sure everyone will agree, are one of the last flags you ever want to see, second only to my skull and crosspenis pirate flag. People’s answers are all over the place, but there are some real gems in the mix. Me? My main red flag is dead bodies. I’m…not very picky. Beggars can’t be choosers and all that.

Because a well aimed bow is mightier than the pen and sword combined (that’s just a pen-sword), this is a video of master archer Lars Andersen shooting seven consecutive arrows through a keyhole less than 10mm tall. He uses a historic style bow without nock point, arrow rest, or any other bells and whistles as well, doing it all OLDSCHOOL STYLE. Damn, that’s some serious skill. Maybe all those TV shows and movies showing knights taking arrows perfectly through the eyebals aren’t as inaccurate as I previously thought. Now I really regret not taking archery seriously when I was a Cub Scout. I could have been a master archer assassinator by now!