It’s summer, and you know what that means — unintentionally cooking your meat in the car. No thank you! So to help prevent overcooked privates, Matty Benedetto of Youtube channel Unnecessary Inventions created the Jewel Cooler, a car A/C port attachment that hoses fresh air straight to your unfresh underwear. Unnecessary invention, or absolutely essential invention?! My sperm are probably convinced they’re swimming in magma right now. Still, if you ever see a man with a mustache like Matty’s shoving something up his pants and making this face in the car beside you at a stop light, call the police.

In much less dangerous world record news, this is a video of musician and Youtuber Davie504 playing the world record holder for bass guitar with the most strings, with a respectable 69. Nice number choice. Of course it’s hard to play all of those strings at once, which is a shame. I feel like Davie504 should also set his sights on setting the world record for human with the most cybernetic hands so he can fully utilize the instrument’s potential.

This is a video of big wave surfer/crazy person Sebastian Steudtner riding the new world record for largest wave ever surfed, with an almost unfathomably 26.21-meter (85.99-foot) behemoth. Could you even imagine? I can’t even imagine. And this is coming from a guy who once bodyboarded a 18-incher in Ocean City, Maryland, so I know my stuff.

In Metal Gear Solid news, this is a video from the fun-loving Finnish couple of Beyond The Press at a factory to see how a 10-ton bevel gear is machined. How are they machined? Very slowly, and it takes about two weeks to finish one gear. For reference, if I was in charge I would be cranking out at least six of those gears a day, all of which would quickly fail and cause the machines they’re in to explode because of all the corners I cut making them. And just what sort of machine even uses such big gears? “One to transport my penis.” Don’t you steal my lines! I’m the one with the totally insane penis here.

This is a fun little TikTok video of the members of Metallica (they’re hip, they Tok) jamming alongside Eddie Munson’s bat-attracting ‘Master Of Puppets’ performance in Stranger Things season 4. That’s cool. Way cooler than suing me for downloading their songs off Napster in 2000, that’s for sure.

@metallica #duet with @netflix Eddie, this is for you! #StrangerThings #StrangerThings4 #MasterOfPuppets #EddieMunson #Netflix ♬ original sound – Netflix

Note: Some strong language.

This is a video from a Toronto construction site where a worker got his hand caught in the taglines of a container that was being lifted, and the crane operator, unaware he was attached, started lifting the load. The video picks up after the operator realized his error and is already lowering the guy back down while the workers film yell absolutely nothing helpful. Still, I have to hand it to Krazy Glue for bringing back the old commercials.

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Thanks to JustA, who agrees it may be time for a career change.