This is some security cam footage from an electronics store in Fujian, China, starring a woman who chews through the security cord of an iPhone 14 Plus in order to steal it. The woman managed to leave the store with the phone, but set off the security alarm in the process, which employees deactivated because they thought it was a false alarm. After realizing the phone was missing, they contacted the authorities, who were able to apprehend the woman in less than a half hour. She told police that she’d lost her phone recently, and thought buying another would too expensive, so she decided to go the free, chew-through-the-security-cord route instead. Problem solving at its finest beaver-est!

Note: Keep your volume in check, loud laughing door.

This is a video of a squeaky door that, when opened and hits its door stop, cackles like an evil witch. Obviously, this is not the sound you want to hear when you’re housesitting a haunted mansion. Or anytime, really, because that means you’ve got a shitty door that needs repairing.

Thanks to JustA, who agrees Scooby and Shaggy would have been f*cking GONE.

This is some historical black and white footage from The Big Easy captured in the 1920’s that’s been upscaled to 60FPS, stabilized, remastered, and colorized, with some sound design added for good measure. The result isn’t fantastic, although I imagine the source material was pretty rough around the edges. I suppose it’s a lot like me in that way. Also, if it was willing to punch a coworker right now for a beignet.

This is a timelapse video created by Youtuber Another Perspective capturing crystals forming after adding vitamin C and beta alanin to water and alcohol. Is that meth? Those are some pretty crystals. Now, grow me some kryptonite, I have a lot of evil that needs doing and I don’t want Superman getting in the way.

This is a video of Youtuber How To Make Everything constructing the sawmill detailed in Leonardo Da Vinci’s notebook in 1478, using only tools and methods that existed back then (read: no power tools, makes his own nails). He does use a water pump to replicate a river though to turn the water wheel. Damn, did that say 1478? That was a long time ago! Like 545 years ago if you’re reading this in 2023. If you’re reading this in the future, well, it’s nice to think humanity launched a copy of this website into space before the earth was destroyed.

Thanks to my dad, who agrees it might have been easier to hire some medieval bridge trolls to cut your logs for you.

This is the suite (and sweet) sign for the Women’s Care Specialists for mammograms and ultrasounds in a medical building, who have the very appropriate and presumably intentional suite 800B. Is there also a urologist in Suite P3N15? I doubt it, but what sort of trouble are you having, anyways? I’ve read almost all the spicy parts of WebMD.

Thanks again to JustA, who would like this to serve as a reminder to check those breast regularly.